Social Media - Really?

Dear Readers,

I'm beginning to feel incredibly old and fuddy-duddy-ish.
Nope, I'm not talking about people not giving up seats on the bus or train for me - WHICH THEY COULD.

I'm not even complaining about being called "sir" with a tinge of looking-down-the-nose irony by the seemingly twelve year old behind the computer help counter - WHICH THEY SHOULDN'T.

No.

I am talking about the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad thing that has replaced common sense and uncommon courtesy.

Social Media.

I am appalled  at the fact that people have come to the conclusion that, no matter what hurtful, hateful and berating things they choose to put out into the world on venues such as Twitter, Facebook, etc, that it's okay...because, somehow, they have free reign to be awful when not face to face with their victim.

It is, I fear, a growing concern amongst anyone with a conscience. Oh, WAIT. It must not be a growing concern at all!

My parents brought me up with a certain few rules to live by and one of those rules that I find has kept me in a lot of trouble over these many years is this:

Never say anything behind anyone's back that would not say - or have not said - to their face!

I believe that those who would use (anti)social media to broadcast messages of hate, cruelty or misogyny are cowards who hide behind the barest anonymity of the handheld keyboard to do the dirty work that they wouldn't have the strength of character to say in person or to deal with the personal and emotional fallout that their words create.

"Don't Interfere With My Child's Creativity!"

Picture this, my friends.....

A lovely, sunny, winter Sunday. A restaurant with a fireplace in the dining room. A group of friends lucky enough to be seated at a table near that warm, crackling fire and enjoying a wonderful brunch.

Sounds idyllic, right?
Then it happens....

A child gets up from his table where he has been sitting with (presumably) his two siblings and three adults, two double strollers - blocking the aisles I might add - and heads, screaming, across the dining room with his hands stuffed with napkins, muffins from the bread basket, silverware from the table and stops. Right behind me. Directly in front of the hearth and proceeds to count at the very top of his lungs while he throws things into the fire.

ONE! A napkin which bursts into flame and flies up toward the flue.

TWO! Half a muffin which bounces off the logs, throwing sparks up and out of the fireplace towards us.

THREE! An orange slice that slips out of his grip just before being catapulted into the fireplace and lands with a sickly plop on the floor of the aisle just begging for a patron or a waiter to slip on it.

I will take a brief break in the enumeration to share the fact that the parents of this child are ignoring his actions. The woman/mother is on her phone speaking at the top of her voice - apparently to someone who couldn't make it to join them all at this circus today - and the two men are in a discussion that I am not privy to nor do I care to be.

Which brings us to....

FOUR! As the child in question holds up a fork and knife above his head, ready to throw these two utensils into the fire OVERHAND and may the chips (or eyeballs) fall where they may.

Since this child could hurt himself and he's already making a HUGE spectacle of himself anyway, I decide to spring into action. Partly for the child's sake, partly for my own since I was in direct trajectory of the sharp metal objects that are about to be airborne.
I turn in my chair, put my hand on the child's back ever-so-gently and take the flatware from him saying,"I'm not so sure that is a good idea, little man." with my best fatherly/grandfatherly look on my face.

Whereupon (and, no, I can't think of any other word to use that will convey my rage-driven, olde fashioned, shock and awe at this moment) the mother (who has, up until now, obviously been ignoring her son's actions, impudence and SAFETY) turns to me and says:

"Please don't interfere with my child's creativity."

Are you KIDDING ME?!?!

Have you comPLETEly lost your ever lovin' MIND?!? 

Your child could very well burn down the restaurant we are all in at the moment.

Your child could very well (proverbially) put an eye out - his OR mine!

Your child is only demonstrating what he has learned - or, more to the point, NOT learned at home!

Your child does not know how to act in a public place and that is YOUR FAULT.

That behavior is NOT "creative". 

It is destructive. 

It is rude.

It is incomprehensibly thoughtless on the part of the parents who obviously don't know any better themselves.

And it will NEVER stop until you, as his caregivers, get a clue and start to - oh, I don't know - CARE!

Pay attention to your children and discipline them when it's necessary.

And remember that "NO" is not a bad word. They need to hear it once in a while to learn the difference between what is acceptable and what is inappropriate.

Thanks for your time.....I know you're busy!

- SSG

Now Playing At This Theater...NOT YOU!

Friends and Followers,

I just got home from one of the nicest movie theaters in the city of New York, the Ziegfeld, where Jae and I were seeing Les Miserables with our friend Julie.
Julie is a wonderful singer and a lover of the show and we always have a good time together.
We also happen to have the same shock and dismay concerning the crumbling of manners and etiquette in the world of late.

THE INDOOR VOICE

What the world needs now is a knowledge among people that we, as the strangers around you, don't care and don't want to know what you and your friends are talking screaming to each other about.

There is no need to holler at the top of your lungs to person who is right next to you.

My theory is that these people - both young and not-so - are screwing up their hearing by sticking earbuds in their ears all the time and pumping up the volume enough to do enough damage to ruin their ears. Edit your vocal volume for your surroundings. You are NOT in a bar. You are NOT outdoors in traffic. You're in a theater....have some respect and keep your voices down.
Think of it as a library with a giant screen.

SHUT YOUR PIE HOLE

  

At Les Mis there was a group behind us a couple of rows in which there was a woman - I'd say she was in her early thirties - talking to a slightly younger woman...CONSTANTLY.

Not only was she talking, mind you, she was saying the most inane things. Explaining absolutely everything.

One character shot at another and she told her companion, "He just shot at that other guy."

Wanting to be the kind of guy who gives the benefit of the (always increasing) doubt, I thought that perhaps this younger woman might be blind, so I look back just in time to see the younger woman TEXTING during the film. AARRGGHH!

EVEN THOUGH IT'S A MUSICAL...

The actors on the screen have been paid a goodly amount of money and have a great deal of experience (Russel Crowe notwithstanding) onscreen. It's their job to act and sing. NOT YOURS.

I've made my living as a singer, both in opera and musical theatre, and I wouldn't dream for a moment to usurp the actors' performance by singing along.

Even though it's a musical...we are not in your bathroom shower. SHUT UP and let the professionals do their jobs.

And, again...I want to tell you, my friends and followers, that I don't expect, for a moment that any one of you might be guilty of any of these things and that, even if you are, you would have the presence of mind and grace to change your ways.

Enjoy the movies!

- SSG

Excuse me...How Many Tables Did You Reserve??

Hi. I'm Steven and I will be serving restaurant justice this evening.

Here's the thing. I have a problem with people - any people - who pay no attention to how hard people work in the service industry.
Tonight we were having dinner at one of our favorite neighborhood restaurants; a really great place that's not too fancy but always crowded.
Almost ever one of my pet peeves were touched on by just one couple at at a table not six feet from ours.

1.  These two had the audacity to walk the hostess all over the restaurant because they didn't want to sit at the table she had chosen. Hosts and hostesses have REASONS for seating guests where they do. They spread the tables between waitpeople so that one doesn't get slammed with too many patrons at one time. They also are in charge of knowing which tables have been reserved for specific times. SIT WHERE THEY PUT YOU, PEOPLE...it's all the same food!
2. As they sat down (finally) they took off their coats and both threw them on the banquette where the woman was seated. Put your damn coat on the back of your chair. In a crowded restaurant you KNOW people are going to show up and need that space. When the two-top next to them did get seated they acted as if it was an affront to them, personally, that they were being asked to give up space which was not theirs to begin with.
3. When they had been served and had finished their appetizers, the man picked up his used plate and put it on the clean, unoccupied table adjacent to theirs. I can't imagine that anyone would be thoughtless enough to not understand that putting a used plate on a clean table that is not your own is unhealthy, that it makes more work for the waitstaff or bus staff and just plain rude. Wait till your waiter or busboy comes to take it away. It was yours...own it.
4. And, PLEASE! It's not rocket science. It's not brain surgery. It doesn't even take all that much intelligence to realize that YOU SHOULDN'T LEAVE YOUR PURSE OR BRIEFCASE ON THE FLOOR IN THE FOOT PATH OF OTHERS. Come on...wake up and think of others for a change.

Please, folks, tell everyone you know how hard restaurant employees work (if they don't know already) and encourage them to treat them accordingly.

Thanks so much and I'll see you out there!

- SSG

O, Dio! Not At the Opera!!

Dear readers, followers, rabbi, parents, grandparents, relatives and friends,

(oops! Sorry, I got caught up in the rhythm of the ubiquitous bar mitzvah speech salutation)

At any rate... today's installment comes as a result of my long overdue night at the opera just last night.
Now, some of you know about my background in the world of opera - I maintain that I 'impersonated an opera singer' for many years before my career in the theatre so I still retain a love for the art form. I just feel no outrageous need to DO it anymore. I have the greatest respect for the huge amount of work and dedication it takes to be a professional opera singer and there, I guess, is from where this blog posting springs.
As I mentioned, this visit to the Metropolitan Opera last night was the first in far too long. Opera is a costly indulgence and one I haven't been able to afford as often as I'd like so it's been a few years since I actually sat in that magnificent space and witnessed live music making at some of its very best.

Now when I say "live music making" I want to be clear. I've said it more than once - frankly, I've said it to anyone who will listen - there is nothing on earth as grand as Grand Opera.
A large orchestra pit filled with some of the world's best instrumentalists and conductors, a truly gigantic stage with sets that can be up to three stories tall, sometimes hundreds of singers and supernumeraries (those are the non-singing or -speaking spear carriers and such), elephants, dancers...anything you can imagine and many things you can't.

"Live music making" also means we are NOT in your living room, we are NOT out on the street, we are NOT in a restaurant and we are definitely NOT in your office.

This, to the initiated and uninitiated alike, should make it clear that there should be NO talking, NO scratching things or rubbing things, NO eating or drinking and absolutely no texting during a performance. Not only that but I find that it is the ultimate in disrespect and disregard of the singers et al onstage to be taking flash photos - or any photos for that matter - of the stage.

What's that you say? The show is over and it's only the curtain call?

Well, let me tell you something from actual experience...when a flash goes off in the audience it has the potential of blinding those onstage for a second or two and, trust me when I say this, that's all it takes to trip during a curtain call and fall on one's face or into the orchestra pit. And, YES, it does happen.

Also, the curtain call is your opportunity to express how much you appreciate the combined hundreds of years of preparation, practice and work involved to have produced the evening for which you have just paid a hefty sum. Take some time to applaud. Not just for the performers but in acknowledgement of the long hard hours YOU have worked to afford your tickets, YOUR patronage of the arts and for being able to pay for the triple espresso that you purchased just to be able to stay awake in a darkened opera house with beautiful music playing after having to do all that you did during the day before you came.

What you should NOT do is, take a picture with your cell phone, check your messages and mail while trying to get out of the theater while the cast is still on stage bowing so that you can get to your car faster than the next person.

Keep supporting the arts but please do it with a modicum of style, grace and manners. You'll be surprised at how your GOOD behaviour might influence others' bad behavior.

And in the words of Mimi......"Addio....senza rancor"

 - SSG

Well, howdy readers!
I know it's been quite a while since I've posted a rant ... comment on this little blog of mine.
You see, I've been trying to get myself to be a bit more mellow, less judgemental, maybe a little more tolerant of the apparent shortcomings in the thoughtfulness of others.

APPARENTLY that's not working!

I have realized that those who came before me - Emily Post, Leticia Baldridge, Judith Martin and scores of others - had the right idea.
The common (and I use that term in every facet of its meaning) man (and I use that term in a multi-gender, multi-age way) clearly is losing the meaning of politeness in today's culture (and I use THAT term as loosely as humanly possible).

I cannot fathom the ignorance and perceived entitlement of most people today.
And what is worse is that if and when these etiquette marauders are called on their behavior or, heaven forbid, become the victims of that same treatment by others, they are appalled and become irate for the same infractions of which they themselves are guilty.

SO, I have decided that in this new year of 2013 I would take up the mantel of ESH - Etiquette Super Hero and boldly go where no one with taste, thought and manners has ever gone before.

Well, that was certainly a bit egotistical and prideful and, frankly untrue, because I used to go there ALL the time and I'm just resuming my decision that is shared by the Metropolitan Transit Authority of this great city..."If You See Something...Say Something."

Today I have two subjects. The first of which is Hats & Hoods.
It's January and I completely understand the need to keep one's head warm. I, being a bald man, may understand more than most, as a matter of fact.

BUT....

When you wear a hat or hood that cuts off your peripheral vision on the streets when you are among other pedestrians, cars, buses and the like....PAY ATTENTION to what's going on around you!

I could be completely selfish and tell you that I only say this to get you - and you KNOW who you are - to stay the hell out of my way, but the whole truth is that I honestly don't want you hurt either. Or anyone else for that matter. So, for clarification and emphasis, I will repeat:

PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR SURROUNDINGS!!

Now....the next subject for today is something that I witnessed just yesterday at a specialty grocery store here in New York called Trader Joe's.

I like to shop at TJ's for a number of reasons. Things are more on the healthy side. Lots of organic product and great prices. They also have a great attitude about giving back to the community.

Yesterday I was witness to a woman's entitled attitude the likes of which I have rarely seen in life - let alone in a place like this.

She had a poor staff member cornered by the canned beans and was complaining bitterly that a man had just taken all but two bent cans of the beans on the shelf to purchase.

CLEARLY, the beans were meant for this woman's cart and she was vehemently complaining how rude this man was to take them all except the damaged cans!

The employee made it clear that the man had a prearranged order for the beans because he worked at a food kitchen for the homeless and unemployed but she would be happy to check the stock area for more of the cans in question.

The offending woman then said something that kind of blew my mind:

"Well, if he works at a shelter, why couldn't HE have used the dented cans and left the good ones for us?!"

Yes, dear readers, you read it correctly:

"Well, if he works at a shelter, why couldn't HE have used the dented cans and left the good ones for us?!"

Upper West Side, obnoxious, thoughtless, clueless, rude and nasty entitlement issues at their most heinous. And what did the staff member do? I really wish I could say that she stayed silent, turned on her heel and walked away, but that's not how Trader Joe's treats their customers - even the most disappointingly thoughtless ones. This lovely young lady said,"I'll see what I can do, ma'am."

And she didn't even say "ma'am" ironically as I would have done.

Take a lesson folks. Rudeness doesn't always beget rudeness but, unfortunately, it's not the same with stupidity and lack of manners. Teach your children well.

All the best in the new year and beyond. And I promise to be more forthcoming in this blog!

- SSG

A Direct Reprint From A Like Mind

Here, dear readers, is a reprint from my friend David Cameron Anderson.
It deals with thoughtlessness in the face of beauty and nature and I wholeheartedly agree with his words and intent.

I've been fascinated by plantlife for as long as I remember - I've come to be quite protective of it.... There are people who walk down the street haphazardly, grabbing leaves or flowers of whatever plant is in reach, then they lazily drop them to the ground as if these plants were simply something to keep their hands occupied while they walk. Those folks will always get a dirty look from me (they either don't see it or ask me 'what's your problem?') There is little that drives me crazier than people who don't understand the concept of a garden. People who have no idea how flowers got into the planting beds...as if they just showed up...I was walking along the periphery of Central Park when I saw that a pair of preschool teachers had brought their classes into the park and onto a large lawn. Twenty or so of the forty children (ages 4 and/or 5) were running around and rolling in a tulip/daffodil bed (the plants were 6 inches to a foot tall with buds already, due to the warm weather)...crushing a good many of the flowering bulbs...I leaned over the railing and got the attention of one of the teachers and said, 'Excuse me - this is a flower garden - where you're standing and the children are playing.' She said, 'Oh, I don't think so.' and turned away... Of course, as Policeman to the world, I continued ...eventually convincing her that these were flowers that were actually planted by the Central Park Conservancy and that the HUGE HUGE lawn adjacent to this garden was a better place for the children to play. She took a few children and exited the garden...and I walked on...turning back a few moments later to see that she had called ALL the children over to play in/crush the plants... This world is inhabited by some odd folks is all I can figure. Something tells me that she came to the same conclusion after meeting me...

 

David Cameron Anderson

February 25, 2012

I hope all take this in the manner in which it was meant...and those that need to learn from it do just that!

- SSG

Another Time, Perhaps

Dearest Readers, Followers, Friends and the Occasional Complete and Total Stranger,

It's always amazing to me when people think so little of the (supposed) common courtesy of being on time.
I was raised to understand, believe and live by the rule saying that timeliness is next to godliness and that you are NOT the only person that your lack of punctuality is going to adversely effect.

Now, I must admit, my situation is a bit different. I always say that I am on "P.H.R.T." - Pre-Hip Replacement Time.
Before I had bi-lateral hip replacement surgery (yup, that's both at once) it used to take me a heck of a lot longer to get wherever I was headed and so I used to schedule up to an hour of extra travel time so that I wouldn't be late.

But, here's the thing...I still feel the need to give myself a time buffer - perhaps not quite as large a time anymore but a buffer nonetheless.
So, what's the deal with those people who seem almost proud to say that they are "habitually late"?
It's not a habit, folks, when it is just as easy to make the choice to be on time or early and not put everyone out while ruining your own reputation...it's a fault. Pure and simple.

Did you all catch that slightly judgemental comment about "ruining your own reputation"?
Well, I hate to break it to you all, but being late all the time doesn't merely tell everyone you're late all the time, but that you're not trustworthy, thoughtless regarding everyone you deal with and probably not as productive a worker as you should be either.

So what's to be done about it? Be an adult. Change your ways! Make it clear to yourself and others that it is somehow important to you to make a good impression and not waste anyone's time - including your own.
If your time is important to you, these changes can work wonders.

• Don't try and "trick" yourself by re-setting your clock or watch. It rarely goes off without a hitch. Just make a pact to start earlier and stay focused.
• Try to remember that there are a lot of people that manage to be on time or early as a general rule in their lives and that most of them are no more intelligent than you. Their secret is simple. Organization.
• The less you allow yourself to lag behind your time, the less stress there will be once you get where you're going. Your stress and the stress levels of those for whom you have the responsibility to be on time.

Maybe you still don't think being punctual is important. Maybe I haven't convinced you that people judge you by standards that include whether or not you keep them waiting.
Well, to you, I have one thing to say.....



....wait for it.....


                         ,,,,,wait for it.......


                                                     ......wait.......

                                                                        ..........for..........


                                                                                                  ...................


- SSG

Resolute Resolutions

Dearest Followers, Readers and Folks Who Got Here Purely By Accident,

It is now a new year.
And, of course, I wish you and yours a happy, healthy, prosperous and, above all, courteous two thousand twelve.

Now, with that folderol out of the way, I am begging you - yes BEGGING you - to make this the year of living courteously and toward that end I have some suggestions of resolutions we could all take to heart.

• Beginning with me, I will make sure that if I'm wearing a hooded coat or parka I will PAY ATTENTION to those around me because my peripheral vision SUCKS.
• Starting today I will stop getting in other people's way because I've got ear buds in my ears or am texting on the street or in crowded places and then giving THEM dirty looks when they bring it to my attention.
• For the good of all man- and woman-kind I will leave my young children with Grandma or a sitter when I choose to go to the theater or any movie racier than a G rating.
• In a large movie theater that has less than a dozen people attending the showing, I will not choose a seat DIRECTLY in front or directly behind anyone who arrived before me. And in any theater I will try to avoid sitting behind anyone at all if I am going to be coughing and sneezing throughout the film thereby endangering the other patrons' health.
• This year I will be supremely aware that I am not the only person in the world. I'm going to remember that I may be the most important person in MY world but we all have worlds of our own and should respect people's feelings, space and time.
• Life is not fair. If I begin to think that life is fair that is the best that I can hope for my life to be....not excellent, not brilliant, not wonderful....just fair.
• People do not owe me anything. I am an adult and I am responsible for my own happiness, wealth and reputation. Nobody can give me anything that I can't and shouldn't get for myself. I am NOT entitled to special treatment just for being me. Unlike pee wee baseball, I am not entitled - nor should I receive - accolades for just showing up. This is the real world and I'm going to have to remember that.
• Stay the hell out of my way as a pedestrian and I promise to stay the hell out of yours. (Yes, I know that was sort of a repetition of an earlier one but let's face facts it's a big problem here!)
• If and when I come to your home town, I will not sit on your front lawn without an invitation or congregate in front of your door only to get pissed off or offended when asked by the residents to move out of the way...how about you afford me the same consideration in my home town?
• While walking around your town I promise to try to be aware of the people walking around me - such people to always include folks on their way to or from work, appointments and other normal day-to-day responsibilities - and I promise to NOT walk six abreast with my friends or family at the slowest pace imaginable all the while remembering that THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO LIVE AND WORK HERE and just because I'm on vacation and have nowhere pressing to be, the locals most likely are not and do!

I don't want to overwhelm you with my list but if it inspires you to write - and in turn live by - one of your own then my New Year's Work is done here!

Have a happy, healthy and prosperous one!

- SSG

Auld Lang Syne....For Idiots

Dearest Readers and Followers,
I sincerely hope that you have been enjoying your holiday season so far and that it has been peaceful with no adverse incident.
Mine, my dear ones, has been wonderful - mainly because I made a pact with myself to try and avoid retail shopping and the insanely, pressure-filled and idiotic times it tends to bring.
Stress management has been my call to arms this season and I think it's worked.

It seems that when I treat my humble abode like an engraved invitation to agoraphobia, not only do I manage to get more done, but I also seem to keep my blood pressure in check, keep my head on straight and - SOMEHOW - keep from murdering stupid people!

BUT, my friends, I believe that that could be about to change.

Yes, it's coming up on New Year's Eve. It's the one evening of the year that the amateur partiers come into my neighborhood to make asses and bloody nuisances of themselves.
Oh, yes, you might say that the same happens on Saint Patrick's Day, but it's not just the Irish and wannabe Irish on New Year's. Oh, no! It's everyone who shares the common calendar with the rest of the world.

I have never quite understood the draw of standing in the cold (and often rainy) night with hundreds of thousands of strangers in a roiling mass of bodies waiting to see a crystal ball be lowered on a stick above your damp and freezing head. But I have lived and worked in the Times Square neighborhood for a decade and a half now and I can tell you that this mass hysteria is NOT a good thing.

People, STAY HOME! Watch the ball drop on television. Drink (if you must and in moderation) in the relative comfort and safely of your own homes and DO NOT GET BEHIND THE WHEEL OF A CAR!

I may not LIKE stupid and thoughtless people but I would never wish them the kind of dreadful experience of crashing a vehicle - or into someone else's just because they didn't have the brains G-d gave a turnip.

Please, be safe this Saturday night and live to annoy people another day!

Happy New Year!

-SSG

Happy Thanksgiving - No, Really

Dearest Readers, Followers and Friends,

I would be remiss, as a proponent of good etiquette and polite behavior, if I didn't wish all of you a wonderful holiday.

 

May you all show your thanks this year by treating each other with kindness, respect and the love you would like to receive.

- SSG

Attention Shoppers

Dearest Readers, Neighbors, Followers and Friends,

I'd like to spend a few moments on a little thing that is going to turn into a BIG thing very soon.

SHOPPING.

 

Yes, the holidays and personal gift giving are right around the corner. In fact, some of you consider Thanksgiving as merely the carbo-loading necessary to make it through the marathon that is shopping in the city.

There is, in my opinion, something else that we all should load up on before we venture out into the sea of the unwashed, the rude, the bargain hunters and the tourists (which is a group that can combine all of the above after all).

That thing is manners. It's important to mention that manners and politeness in this difficult time are pivotal products o one other thing that we tend to have a lack of.....PATIENCE.

If a an entire family of tourists doesn't know any better and stops dead in its tracks to look up in the air at "OOH! Something Shiny!" and, thus, blocks your thoughtfully considered and timely progress try to be patient and ask them - without irony in your voice - if you may pass.

When you are in a crowd, an "excuse me" or an after-the-fact "pardon me" can mean a lot more than a "Happy Holidays" to the average person but, to nip the problem in the bud, JUST WAIT YOUR TURN!

The moment or two that you save by jumping a space in line or pushing your way to the front are really not worth the temporary hatred that your actions are going to instill in those around you.
Also, remember a wonderful adage of the modern era - You can shop online now, save money, have things wrapped and delivered to their recipient and not be forced to piss yourself off or those around you in the process. So, log on to your trusty computer and shop at home if at all possible!

ag·o·ra·pho·bia noun \ˌa-g(ə-)rə-ˈfō-bē-ə\ : abnormal fear of being helpless in an embarrassing or unescapable situation that is characterized especially by the avoidance of open or public places

Now I'm not suggesting that agoraphobia is a disorder to be cherished. No, NO! Just appreciate it for what a temporary case can do for you and those around you if contracted by choice!

Have yourselves a merry little (      insert celebration here       ) and be thoughtful, kind and safe.

- SSG

AH, That Time Has Come 'Round Again!

Dearest Readers & Followers - and those who have haphazardly lost their way on the daunting web,

That time surely has come 'round again.
That time of glistening brows, expectant faces, sticky fingers and mists twinkling in the air.
Am I talking about the holidays with all those sugarplums so near at hand?

NO!

I'm talking Cold and Flu Season!

Those glistening brows have been brought on by fever, expectant faces by never knowing from where the next hacking cough will issue forth, sticky fingers digging for lozenges (elbows akimbo in even the smallest and tightest of places) and the twinkling in the air? The unconfined spray from uncovered sneezes and coughs in those aforementioned contained spaces.

It's not rocket science folks - COVER YOUR DAMN MOUTHS WHEN YOU COUGH AND SNEEZE!

WHAT?!? You mean ME? OOOOOOH! I thought the rule was "cover my infected pie-hole only when and if I think about it!"

I recently witnessed a man on the subway of this fair city playing some sort of game on his smart phone.
Side bar: Apparently, you can buy a smart phone now even if you're decidedly...well... NOT.

But, I digress....

I saw this man using his phone on the train, playing some video game or another, which apparently required both of his hands and the lion's share of his tiny intellect. When he felt the overwhelming urge to sneeze, he did so....all over the person standing in front of him, spraying her with whatever cooties he was playing host to at that moment. And not just once, mind you....but THREE TIMES!!!

I know what you're going to ask.....Did he cover his mouth? Did he let go of the insipid electronic game he was playing, even with one hand?!?
No, dear ones, he did not.
And when the poor receptacle of his stupidity AND germs asked him to cover his mouth he looked back at her dumbfounded! As if he had never heard of the concept of germs and bacteria flying through the air and indiscriminately latching onto and subsequently infecting whatever or whomever is in its path.

And was this some kid? Wet behind the ears, whose parents never tried to steer him in the polite and healthier direction of keeping his maladies to himself? NO. He was, by my assessment, in his late forties or early fifties. SHAMEFUL.

Now, come ON! You don't have to be brilliant to figure out that that is wrong - not to mention disgusting and rude.

Please, dear friends and readers, let's all try, this season to teach by good example and should that not work, let's round up all the idiots and force them to watch a screening of the recent release of the critically acclaimed film, Contagion, and further enhance their experience by providing one BIG, communal tub of of germ-ridden popcorn!

Please, stay healthy!

- SSG

Trick or.....Whatever

Dear Readers and Followers,

It's very close to Halloween, Hallowe'en, All Hallow's Eve....whatever you want to call it, let's go through a couple ground rules, shall we?

This is (primarily) a children's holiday. The costumes, the scary ghouls, goblins and ghosts and the candy...let's not forget the candy!

SO, here's what I'd like to see but what I'm, sadly, convinced will NOT be the case.

1. This IS a children's holiday but that should mean MORE parental and guardian supervision not less! 
2. If you have a child in your care who is wearing a mask that limits their vision, PAY ATTENTION that the kid isn't haphazardly banging into other people. This means WATCH YOUR D@MN KIDS. Not ignoring your children is particularly important on the one night of the year that you're actually condoning the begging of candy from virtual strangers. Try not to put your child's or mere pedestrians' lives at risk as well.
3. Not EVERYone thinks your costumed child (dog or cat) is the cutest thing in the entire world and, surprisingly, has no interest in standing around while you block everyone's path to take countless pictures.
4. Don't gawk at men dressed as women or women dressed as men. Sometimes, this holiday is the only day of the year that some buttoned up and otherwise shy individuals allow themselves to let their freak-flags fly.
5. Feel free to gawk at tourists who wear no costumes and just stand around gawking at others who do.
6. Please, please, PLEASE don't be the spoil sport who gives toothbrushes and toothpaste to trick-or-treaters. This is a day for hedonism and you don't want to be THAT guy who poops on the party.
7. And PLEASE don't be that kid (or their parent) who rings the doorbell and proclaims, "Trick-or-treat! I have/my Mikey has a peanut allergy!" If your kid has an allergy, don't make it the generous candy-giver's problem. Go through the little tyke's candy when you get home!
8. Above all, be thoughtful, careful, safe and have fun....without pissing anyone else off on your way because no one ever taught you how to behave in public!

Now, of course, I know that my gentle readers and thoughtful followers would NEVER do any of these terrible things. But I also know that we ALL know SOMEONE who would, and does and we can pass this along to them!

Happy Hallowe'en.......Oh, and BOO!

- SSG

Happy Birthday To Me - A Christmas Miracle?

My Dear Friends, Followers and Readers,

Yes, it is my birthday. But I didn't mention it to force fond wishes, cards, large floral tributes or more cake than anyone in his or her right mind would be wise to consume.

No. I mentioned it because of the date. October 17. That's right. October.

Why is that particular month and date being so hard hit by my blog today? Funny you should ask!

No, it's not because I have been so busy and life has been so crazy-making that I haven't put an update on my blog since the last week in September and I'm apologizing to the small (but faithful) group that reads my entries - though I really ought to do just that!

No, it's because it's October. OCTOBER. We are still two weeks premature for Hallowe'en.
I ventured out to shop for a little gift today for a loved one and, what did I see? Hallowe'en decorations? Yes, but those have been up virtually since the fourth of July.

What I saw that kinda spooked me more than the goblins and spooks were CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS! You betcha! Christmas. We haven't even been able to go up to strangers' doors and yell "Trick or Treat!" at the top of our lungs when we are being forced to change our tune to our favorite holiday carol.

Now, please don't get me wrong. I love the holiday season as much as the next guy - probably more because I'm in a mixed marriage and I get to celebrate them ALL.
But, didn't we just get done with Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur?!! Those are traditional autumnal celebrations followed by Sukkot - the festival of the HARVEST.

No wise men, no tinsel, no mistletoe.....at least not yet, please. Let us enjoy the fall. The leaves turning. Maybe a little turkey and dressing...A pumpkin pie, or in my case, a modest birthday cake, before the rush of the holidays commences. I promise to celebrate with fervor and optimum excitement!

Not exactly a question of Urban Etiquette, but thanks for letting me vent! After all, I'm old now and it comes so naturally.

- SSG

A Word To The Wise

No matter how far technology has come...

You STILL look, to the rest of the world, as if you're talking loudly to yourself while walking down the street using your tiny little hands-free cellphone device.

Idiot alert!

Just a little something you might want to keep in mind.

AWWWWWW, What a Cute Puppy!!!

Dear Readers, Followers and the Just Plain Curious,

Well, it finally happened a couple months ago.
I'm no sure whether I shared this with you all or not, but three years ago I had  bilateral hip replacement surgery - that's right - bilateral (meaning both at the same time...YIKES) and two years ago another sort of more drastic surgery having to do with the titanium prostheses both getting life-threateningly infected. This second event had me in hospital and rehabilitation for a total of six weeks and the recovery time, well, let's just say it was massive.

YES, I'm getting to the puppy, trust me!

Well, my husband, the ever thoughtful Jae, said to me during my mending period, "You know how you've always wanted a dog? Well, I was thinking, as soon as you're able to bend over to pick up poop off the street, we can start looking for a rescue!"

Our Little Hudson

He even took me to the Javits Convention Center for my birthday in October to an even called Meet The Breeds where there were a lot of different booths with a LOT of different breeds for all of us to meet and get to know. I was in Doggie Heaven!

Well, it took quite a while to find the wonderful puppy we adopted and have come to love. His name is Hudson and he completes this family of five. Daddy (me), Poppa (Jae), Jack and Sam (our seven year old cats).

Now, you might be wondering, where's the rant? Where's the righteous indignation? Okay, here it is:

I ask you, would you...

• Pick up a stranger's toddler on the street? 

• Make 'kissy' noises so that the child in question will come to you and away from their parent or guardian? 
• Poke repeatedly at a child's face while exclaiming "What a cute baby!"? 

• Give a parent unsolicited advice about how to raise their progeny?

This happens to us ALL the time! You wouldn't think people would be so thoughtless but, guess what! They are!

Now, onward to other annoyances that have pertinent crossover to manners, safety and public health issues:

• I'm a little bit surprised that parents will allow their small children to just go up to strange dogs and pet them - or hit them or pull on their ears or scream at them, etc! I know my dog is friendly and well socialized but not every dog is. This is REALLY dangerous!

• Those expandable leashes are one of the stupidest things ever invented. Most dog owners don't know how to use them correctly and their dogs tend to run amok and tangle up old ladies and other pedestrians. Get a regular lead! You're not cool. 

• Most dogs have their nose to the ground for a goodly amount of the time they are being walked in city neighborhoods. Think again when you decide to just throw litter, cigarette butts, food, etc in the GENERAL direction of a trash receptacle or merely ANYwhere you are. These things can really hurt the constitution of a dog. Think twice.

•  DO NOT FEED dogs or puppies you don't know. An easy and logical premise. Just DON'T.

How intelligent do you have to be to consider the health and welfare and welfare of a pet - even (and probably most importantly) when it's not your own pet??

Please, dear readers, pass on this information to anyone you think of who can benefit from these reminders.

-SSG

Ground Zero Is Not A Theme Park

My dear readers,

I understand that the terrifying events of 9/11 had a huge impact on Americans and even the world, but I have a problem that I just don't understand.
I overheard this conversation the yesterday and it upset me more than I can say:

"What? There are roadblocks and street closings down at Ground Zero?!

I wanted to get a t-shirt!"

My friends, We, New Yorkers, lived through that horrible day and the resulting aftermath of fear, insecurity and stress. Yes, the whole nation was attacked, the whole world frozen, but - and I say this with as much thoughtful consciousness and humility - Ground Zero Is NOT a theme park nor is it a tourist destination for fun and frolic.

 I cannot say this without sounding like an ass and, trust me, I know how I come off. But, folks, you will never know how horrifying it is to see the hawkers and vendors trying to sell tschotchkas and hats and t-shirts where an abomination occurred forcing major changes in so many New Yorkers' lives.

What has this to do with etiquette, you may ask?

Manners and etiquette, as I've mentioned before, are designed, not to handcuff people or make them feel badly about themselves, but to make everyone feel comfortable and good.

Just my opinions, of course, and I welcome any rebuttal or comment at any time.

Meanwhile, my friends, please stay healthy and safe.

- SSG

Good Night, Irene

Hell Dear Readers!
It's been a while since my last posting - wow, that sort of sounds like that old "Bless me Father...." thing.

As some of you might be aware, the East Coast had a bit of a scare over the past weekend regarding Hurricane Irene and its (her?) path heading straight toward New York and environs.
Now, I am all for hurricane preparedness, but when it puts others at risk and makes you look like a jackass then I draw the line. For myself AND others.

So, I am sure you will understand when I regale you with my little tale of bankrupt, classless, rude and downright awful humanity that I witnessed - and yes - got involved in this past weekend.

There is a supermarket in the basement of our building and our neighborhood is a veritable cross section of young, old, rich, struggling polite and, well, not.
I keep a rather well stocked pantry of essentials on a regular basis so I was not really concerned about the possible and impending doom that Irene was promising but I did have occasion to be in the grocery to pick up something I needed to make dinner and do laundry, while walking down the beverage and water aisle I saw something that made my blood boil and run cold at the same time.
There was an eighty-something white haired lady slowly pushing her cart toward the sparsely stocked shelves of bottled water when along came an overly tanned twenty-something girl in her flip-flops, too-tight cut offs, tank top and head phones obviously talking (too loudly, I might add) and pushes past the older woman, rolling her eyes - presumably as a comment on the woman's age and slowness - and grabbing the last of the twelve packs of bottled water toward which the woman was reaching starts to walk away.

I simply couldn't believe what I was seeing.

Well, I decided it was not going to happen in the way this little &8#@% assumed it would and I proceeded to stand directly in her path. After looking up from her cellphone, a bit flustered  as she saw my angry face, she heard me say one word - "NO."
I took the water from her hand and turned around and put it in the lady's cart.
I then turned back to the girl and reiterated my one word comment, "NO." and went about my quest for all fabric bleach.

Had I stayed around to argue the point I'm sure it would have come to fisticuffs and I would have been forced to break my life long commitment to never hit a female.

You think the winds of Irene were strong? I would have smacked that girl into next week! 

God Bless You!

OH, FOR PETE'S SAKE...COVER YOUR MOUTH WHEN YOU SNEEZE OR COUGH!!!

Where were you brought up, a barn?!

'Nuff said? GOOD.