Excuse me...How Many Tables Did You Reserve??

Hi. I'm Steven and I will be serving restaurant justice this evening.

Here's the thing. I have a problem with people - any people - who pay no attention to how hard people work in the service industry.
Tonight we were having dinner at one of our favorite neighborhood restaurants; a really great place that's not too fancy but always crowded.
Almost ever one of my pet peeves were touched on by just one couple at at a table not six feet from ours.

1.  These two had the audacity to walk the hostess all over the restaurant because they didn't want to sit at the table she had chosen. Hosts and hostesses have REASONS for seating guests where they do. They spread the tables between waitpeople so that one doesn't get slammed with too many patrons at one time. They also are in charge of knowing which tables have been reserved for specific times. SIT WHERE THEY PUT YOU, PEOPLE...it's all the same food!
2. As they sat down (finally) they took off their coats and both threw them on the banquette where the woman was seated. Put your damn coat on the back of your chair. In a crowded restaurant you KNOW people are going to show up and need that space. When the two-top next to them did get seated they acted as if it was an affront to them, personally, that they were being asked to give up space which was not theirs to begin with.
3. When they had been served and had finished their appetizers, the man picked up his used plate and put it on the clean, unoccupied table adjacent to theirs. I can't imagine that anyone would be thoughtless enough to not understand that putting a used plate on a clean table that is not your own is unhealthy, that it makes more work for the waitstaff or bus staff and just plain rude. Wait till your waiter or busboy comes to take it away. It was yours...own it.
4. And, PLEASE! It's not rocket science. It's not brain surgery. It doesn't even take all that much intelligence to realize that YOU SHOULDN'T LEAVE YOUR PURSE OR BRIEFCASE ON THE FLOOR IN THE FOOT PATH OF OTHERS. Come on...wake up and think of others for a change.

Please, folks, tell everyone you know how hard restaurant employees work (if they don't know already) and encourage them to treat them accordingly.

Thanks so much and I'll see you out there!

- SSG

O, Dio! Not At the Opera!!

Dear readers, followers, rabbi, parents, grandparents, relatives and friends,

(oops! Sorry, I got caught up in the rhythm of the ubiquitous bar mitzvah speech salutation)

At any rate... today's installment comes as a result of my long overdue night at the opera just last night.
Now, some of you know about my background in the world of opera - I maintain that I 'impersonated an opera singer' for many years before my career in the theatre so I still retain a love for the art form. I just feel no outrageous need to DO it anymore. I have the greatest respect for the huge amount of work and dedication it takes to be a professional opera singer and there, I guess, is from where this blog posting springs.
As I mentioned, this visit to the Metropolitan Opera last night was the first in far too long. Opera is a costly indulgence and one I haven't been able to afford as often as I'd like so it's been a few years since I actually sat in that magnificent space and witnessed live music making at some of its very best.

Now when I say "live music making" I want to be clear. I've said it more than once - frankly, I've said it to anyone who will listen - there is nothing on earth as grand as Grand Opera.
A large orchestra pit filled with some of the world's best instrumentalists and conductors, a truly gigantic stage with sets that can be up to three stories tall, sometimes hundreds of singers and supernumeraries (those are the non-singing or -speaking spear carriers and such), elephants, dancers...anything you can imagine and many things you can't.

"Live music making" also means we are NOT in your living room, we are NOT out on the street, we are NOT in a restaurant and we are definitely NOT in your office.

This, to the initiated and uninitiated alike, should make it clear that there should be NO talking, NO scratching things or rubbing things, NO eating or drinking and absolutely no texting during a performance. Not only that but I find that it is the ultimate in disrespect and disregard of the singers et al onstage to be taking flash photos - or any photos for that matter - of the stage.

What's that you say? The show is over and it's only the curtain call?

Well, let me tell you something from actual experience...when a flash goes off in the audience it has the potential of blinding those onstage for a second or two and, trust me when I say this, that's all it takes to trip during a curtain call and fall on one's face or into the orchestra pit. And, YES, it does happen.

Also, the curtain call is your opportunity to express how much you appreciate the combined hundreds of years of preparation, practice and work involved to have produced the evening for which you have just paid a hefty sum. Take some time to applaud. Not just for the performers but in acknowledgement of the long hard hours YOU have worked to afford your tickets, YOUR patronage of the arts and for being able to pay for the triple espresso that you purchased just to be able to stay awake in a darkened opera house with beautiful music playing after having to do all that you did during the day before you came.

What you should NOT do is, take a picture with your cell phone, check your messages and mail while trying to get out of the theater while the cast is still on stage bowing so that you can get to your car faster than the next person.

Keep supporting the arts but please do it with a modicum of style, grace and manners. You'll be surprised at how your GOOD behaviour might influence others' bad behavior.

And in the words of Mimi......"Addio....senza rancor"

 - SSG

Well, howdy readers!
I know it's been quite a while since I've posted a rant ... comment on this little blog of mine.
You see, I've been trying to get myself to be a bit more mellow, less judgemental, maybe a little more tolerant of the apparent shortcomings in the thoughtfulness of others.

APPARENTLY that's not working!

I have realized that those who came before me - Emily Post, Leticia Baldridge, Judith Martin and scores of others - had the right idea.
The common (and I use that term in every facet of its meaning) man (and I use that term in a multi-gender, multi-age way) clearly is losing the meaning of politeness in today's culture (and I use THAT term as loosely as humanly possible).

I cannot fathom the ignorance and perceived entitlement of most people today.
And what is worse is that if and when these etiquette marauders are called on their behavior or, heaven forbid, become the victims of that same treatment by others, they are appalled and become irate for the same infractions of which they themselves are guilty.

SO, I have decided that in this new year of 2013 I would take up the mantel of ESH - Etiquette Super Hero and boldly go where no one with taste, thought and manners has ever gone before.

Well, that was certainly a bit egotistical and prideful and, frankly untrue, because I used to go there ALL the time and I'm just resuming my decision that is shared by the Metropolitan Transit Authority of this great city..."If You See Something...Say Something."

Today I have two subjects. The first of which is Hats & Hoods.
It's January and I completely understand the need to keep one's head warm. I, being a bald man, may understand more than most, as a matter of fact.

BUT....

When you wear a hat or hood that cuts off your peripheral vision on the streets when you are among other pedestrians, cars, buses and the like....PAY ATTENTION to what's going on around you!

I could be completely selfish and tell you that I only say this to get you - and you KNOW who you are - to stay the hell out of my way, but the whole truth is that I honestly don't want you hurt either. Or anyone else for that matter. So, for clarification and emphasis, I will repeat:

PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR SURROUNDINGS!!

Now....the next subject for today is something that I witnessed just yesterday at a specialty grocery store here in New York called Trader Joe's.

I like to shop at TJ's for a number of reasons. Things are more on the healthy side. Lots of organic product and great prices. They also have a great attitude about giving back to the community.

Yesterday I was witness to a woman's entitled attitude the likes of which I have rarely seen in life - let alone in a place like this.

She had a poor staff member cornered by the canned beans and was complaining bitterly that a man had just taken all but two bent cans of the beans on the shelf to purchase.

CLEARLY, the beans were meant for this woman's cart and she was vehemently complaining how rude this man was to take them all except the damaged cans!

The employee made it clear that the man had a prearranged order for the beans because he worked at a food kitchen for the homeless and unemployed but she would be happy to check the stock area for more of the cans in question.

The offending woman then said something that kind of blew my mind:

"Well, if he works at a shelter, why couldn't HE have used the dented cans and left the good ones for us?!"

Yes, dear readers, you read it correctly:

"Well, if he works at a shelter, why couldn't HE have used the dented cans and left the good ones for us?!"

Upper West Side, obnoxious, thoughtless, clueless, rude and nasty entitlement issues at their most heinous. And what did the staff member do? I really wish I could say that she stayed silent, turned on her heel and walked away, but that's not how Trader Joe's treats their customers - even the most disappointingly thoughtless ones. This lovely young lady said,"I'll see what I can do, ma'am."

And she didn't even say "ma'am" ironically as I would have done.

Take a lesson folks. Rudeness doesn't always beget rudeness but, unfortunately, it's not the same with stupidity and lack of manners. Teach your children well.

All the best in the new year and beyond. And I promise to be more forthcoming in this blog!

- SSG

A Direct Reprint From A Like Mind

Here, dear readers, is a reprint from my friend David Cameron Anderson.
It deals with thoughtlessness in the face of beauty and nature and I wholeheartedly agree with his words and intent.

I've been fascinated by plantlife for as long as I remember - I've come to be quite protective of it.... There are people who walk down the street haphazardly, grabbing leaves or flowers of whatever plant is in reach, then they lazily drop them to the ground as if these plants were simply something to keep their hands occupied while they walk. Those folks will always get a dirty look from me (they either don't see it or ask me 'what's your problem?') There is little that drives me crazier than people who don't understand the concept of a garden. People who have no idea how flowers got into the planting beds...as if they just showed up...I was walking along the periphery of Central Park when I saw that a pair of preschool teachers had brought their classes into the park and onto a large lawn. Twenty or so of the forty children (ages 4 and/or 5) were running around and rolling in a tulip/daffodil bed (the plants were 6 inches to a foot tall with buds already, due to the warm weather)...crushing a good many of the flowering bulbs...I leaned over the railing and got the attention of one of the teachers and said, 'Excuse me - this is a flower garden - where you're standing and the children are playing.' She said, 'Oh, I don't think so.' and turned away... Of course, as Policeman to the world, I continued ...eventually convincing her that these were flowers that were actually planted by the Central Park Conservancy and that the HUGE HUGE lawn adjacent to this garden was a better place for the children to play. She took a few children and exited the garden...and I walked on...turning back a few moments later to see that she had called ALL the children over to play in/crush the plants... This world is inhabited by some odd folks is all I can figure. Something tells me that she came to the same conclusion after meeting me...

 

David Cameron Anderson

February 25, 2012

I hope all take this in the manner in which it was meant...and those that need to learn from it do just that!

- SSG

Another Time, Perhaps

Dearest Readers, Followers, Friends and the Occasional Complete and Total Stranger,

It's always amazing to me when people think so little of the (supposed) common courtesy of being on time.
I was raised to understand, believe and live by the rule saying that timeliness is next to godliness and that you are NOT the only person that your lack of punctuality is going to adversely effect.

Now, I must admit, my situation is a bit different. I always say that I am on "P.H.R.T." - Pre-Hip Replacement Time.
Before I had bi-lateral hip replacement surgery (yup, that's both at once) it used to take me a heck of a lot longer to get wherever I was headed and so I used to schedule up to an hour of extra travel time so that I wouldn't be late.

But, here's the thing...I still feel the need to give myself a time buffer - perhaps not quite as large a time anymore but a buffer nonetheless.
So, what's the deal with those people who seem almost proud to say that they are "habitually late"?
It's not a habit, folks, when it is just as easy to make the choice to be on time or early and not put everyone out while ruining your own reputation...it's a fault. Pure and simple.

Did you all catch that slightly judgemental comment about "ruining your own reputation"?
Well, I hate to break it to you all, but being late all the time doesn't merely tell everyone you're late all the time, but that you're not trustworthy, thoughtless regarding everyone you deal with and probably not as productive a worker as you should be either.

So what's to be done about it? Be an adult. Change your ways! Make it clear to yourself and others that it is somehow important to you to make a good impression and not waste anyone's time - including your own.
If your time is important to you, these changes can work wonders.

• Don't try and "trick" yourself by re-setting your clock or watch. It rarely goes off without a hitch. Just make a pact to start earlier and stay focused.
• Try to remember that there are a lot of people that manage to be on time or early as a general rule in their lives and that most of them are no more intelligent than you. Their secret is simple. Organization.
• The less you allow yourself to lag behind your time, the less stress there will be once you get where you're going. Your stress and the stress levels of those for whom you have the responsibility to be on time.

Maybe you still don't think being punctual is important. Maybe I haven't convinced you that people judge you by standards that include whether or not you keep them waiting.
Well, to you, I have one thing to say.....



....wait for it.....


                         ,,,,,wait for it.......


                                                     ......wait.......

                                                                        ..........for..........


                                                                                                  ...................


- SSG

Resolute Resolutions

Dearest Followers, Readers and Folks Who Got Here Purely By Accident,

It is now a new year.
And, of course, I wish you and yours a happy, healthy, prosperous and, above all, courteous two thousand twelve.

Now, with that folderol out of the way, I am begging you - yes BEGGING you - to make this the year of living courteously and toward that end I have some suggestions of resolutions we could all take to heart.

• Beginning with me, I will make sure that if I'm wearing a hooded coat or parka I will PAY ATTENTION to those around me because my peripheral vision SUCKS.
• Starting today I will stop getting in other people's way because I've got ear buds in my ears or am texting on the street or in crowded places and then giving THEM dirty looks when they bring it to my attention.
• For the good of all man- and woman-kind I will leave my young children with Grandma or a sitter when I choose to go to the theater or any movie racier than a G rating.
• In a large movie theater that has less than a dozen people attending the showing, I will not choose a seat DIRECTLY in front or directly behind anyone who arrived before me. And in any theater I will try to avoid sitting behind anyone at all if I am going to be coughing and sneezing throughout the film thereby endangering the other patrons' health.
• This year I will be supremely aware that I am not the only person in the world. I'm going to remember that I may be the most important person in MY world but we all have worlds of our own and should respect people's feelings, space and time.
• Life is not fair. If I begin to think that life is fair that is the best that I can hope for my life to be....not excellent, not brilliant, not wonderful....just fair.
• People do not owe me anything. I am an adult and I am responsible for my own happiness, wealth and reputation. Nobody can give me anything that I can't and shouldn't get for myself. I am NOT entitled to special treatment just for being me. Unlike pee wee baseball, I am not entitled - nor should I receive - accolades for just showing up. This is the real world and I'm going to have to remember that.
• Stay the hell out of my way as a pedestrian and I promise to stay the hell out of yours. (Yes, I know that was sort of a repetition of an earlier one but let's face facts it's a big problem here!)
• If and when I come to your home town, I will not sit on your front lawn without an invitation or congregate in front of your door only to get pissed off or offended when asked by the residents to move out of the way...how about you afford me the same consideration in my home town?
• While walking around your town I promise to try to be aware of the people walking around me - such people to always include folks on their way to or from work, appointments and other normal day-to-day responsibilities - and I promise to NOT walk six abreast with my friends or family at the slowest pace imaginable all the while remembering that THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO LIVE AND WORK HERE and just because I'm on vacation and have nowhere pressing to be, the locals most likely are not and do!

I don't want to overwhelm you with my list but if it inspires you to write - and in turn live by - one of your own then my New Year's Work is done here!

Have a happy, healthy and prosperous one!

- SSG

Auld Lang Syne....For Idiots

Dearest Readers and Followers,
I sincerely hope that you have been enjoying your holiday season so far and that it has been peaceful with no adverse incident.
Mine, my dear ones, has been wonderful - mainly because I made a pact with myself to try and avoid retail shopping and the insanely, pressure-filled and idiotic times it tends to bring.
Stress management has been my call to arms this season and I think it's worked.

It seems that when I treat my humble abode like an engraved invitation to agoraphobia, not only do I manage to get more done, but I also seem to keep my blood pressure in check, keep my head on straight and - SOMEHOW - keep from murdering stupid people!

BUT, my friends, I believe that that could be about to change.

Yes, it's coming up on New Year's Eve. It's the one evening of the year that the amateur partiers come into my neighborhood to make asses and bloody nuisances of themselves.
Oh, yes, you might say that the same happens on Saint Patrick's Day, but it's not just the Irish and wannabe Irish on New Year's. Oh, no! It's everyone who shares the common calendar with the rest of the world.

I have never quite understood the draw of standing in the cold (and often rainy) night with hundreds of thousands of strangers in a roiling mass of bodies waiting to see a crystal ball be lowered on a stick above your damp and freezing head. But I have lived and worked in the Times Square neighborhood for a decade and a half now and I can tell you that this mass hysteria is NOT a good thing.

People, STAY HOME! Watch the ball drop on television. Drink (if you must and in moderation) in the relative comfort and safely of your own homes and DO NOT GET BEHIND THE WHEEL OF A CAR!

I may not LIKE stupid and thoughtless people but I would never wish them the kind of dreadful experience of crashing a vehicle - or into someone else's just because they didn't have the brains G-d gave a turnip.

Please, be safe this Saturday night and live to annoy people another day!

Happy New Year!

-SSG