Happy Thanksgiving - No, Really

Dearest Readers, Followers and Friends,

I would be remiss, as a proponent of good etiquette and polite behavior, if I didn't wish all of you a wonderful holiday.

 

May you all show your thanks this year by treating each other with kindness, respect and the love you would like to receive.

- SSG

Attention Shoppers

Dearest Readers, Neighbors, Followers and Friends,

I'd like to spend a few moments on a little thing that is going to turn into a BIG thing very soon.

SHOPPING.

 

Yes, the holidays and personal gift giving are right around the corner. In fact, some of you consider Thanksgiving as merely the carbo-loading necessary to make it through the marathon that is shopping in the city.

There is, in my opinion, something else that we all should load up on before we venture out into the sea of the unwashed, the rude, the bargain hunters and the tourists (which is a group that can combine all of the above after all).

That thing is manners. It's important to mention that manners and politeness in this difficult time are pivotal products o one other thing that we tend to have a lack of.....PATIENCE.

If a an entire family of tourists doesn't know any better and stops dead in its tracks to look up in the air at "OOH! Something Shiny!" and, thus, blocks your thoughtfully considered and timely progress try to be patient and ask them - without irony in your voice - if you may pass.

When you are in a crowd, an "excuse me" or an after-the-fact "pardon me" can mean a lot more than a "Happy Holidays" to the average person but, to nip the problem in the bud, JUST WAIT YOUR TURN!

The moment or two that you save by jumping a space in line or pushing your way to the front are really not worth the temporary hatred that your actions are going to instill in those around you.
Also, remember a wonderful adage of the modern era - You can shop online now, save money, have things wrapped and delivered to their recipient and not be forced to piss yourself off or those around you in the process. So, log on to your trusty computer and shop at home if at all possible!

ag·o·ra·pho·bia noun \ˌa-g(ə-)rə-ˈfō-bē-ə\ : abnormal fear of being helpless in an embarrassing or unescapable situation that is characterized especially by the avoidance of open or public places

Now I'm not suggesting that agoraphobia is a disorder to be cherished. No, NO! Just appreciate it for what a temporary case can do for you and those around you if contracted by choice!

Have yourselves a merry little (      insert celebration here       ) and be thoughtful, kind and safe.

- SSG

AH, That Time Has Come 'Round Again!

Dearest Readers & Followers - and those who have haphazardly lost their way on the daunting web,

That time surely has come 'round again.
That time of glistening brows, expectant faces, sticky fingers and mists twinkling in the air.
Am I talking about the holidays with all those sugarplums so near at hand?

NO!

I'm talking Cold and Flu Season!

Those glistening brows have been brought on by fever, expectant faces by never knowing from where the next hacking cough will issue forth, sticky fingers digging for lozenges (elbows akimbo in even the smallest and tightest of places) and the twinkling in the air? The unconfined spray from uncovered sneezes and coughs in those aforementioned contained spaces.

It's not rocket science folks - COVER YOUR DAMN MOUTHS WHEN YOU COUGH AND SNEEZE!

WHAT?!? You mean ME? OOOOOOH! I thought the rule was "cover my infected pie-hole only when and if I think about it!"

I recently witnessed a man on the subway of this fair city playing some sort of game on his smart phone.
Side bar: Apparently, you can buy a smart phone now even if you're decidedly...well... NOT.

But, I digress....

I saw this man using his phone on the train, playing some video game or another, which apparently required both of his hands and the lion's share of his tiny intellect. When he felt the overwhelming urge to sneeze, he did so....all over the person standing in front of him, spraying her with whatever cooties he was playing host to at that moment. And not just once, mind you....but THREE TIMES!!!

I know what you're going to ask.....Did he cover his mouth? Did he let go of the insipid electronic game he was playing, even with one hand?!?
No, dear ones, he did not.
And when the poor receptacle of his stupidity AND germs asked him to cover his mouth he looked back at her dumbfounded! As if he had never heard of the concept of germs and bacteria flying through the air and indiscriminately latching onto and subsequently infecting whatever or whomever is in its path.

And was this some kid? Wet behind the ears, whose parents never tried to steer him in the polite and healthier direction of keeping his maladies to himself? NO. He was, by my assessment, in his late forties or early fifties. SHAMEFUL.

Now, come ON! You don't have to be brilliant to figure out that that is wrong - not to mention disgusting and rude.

Please, dear friends and readers, let's all try, this season to teach by good example and should that not work, let's round up all the idiots and force them to watch a screening of the recent release of the critically acclaimed film, Contagion, and further enhance their experience by providing one BIG, communal tub of of germ-ridden popcorn!

Please, stay healthy!

- SSG

Trick or.....Whatever

Dear Readers and Followers,

It's very close to Halloween, Hallowe'en, All Hallow's Eve....whatever you want to call it, let's go through a couple ground rules, shall we?

This is (primarily) a children's holiday. The costumes, the scary ghouls, goblins and ghosts and the candy...let's not forget the candy!

SO, here's what I'd like to see but what I'm, sadly, convinced will NOT be the case.

1. This IS a children's holiday but that should mean MORE parental and guardian supervision not less! 
2. If you have a child in your care who is wearing a mask that limits their vision, PAY ATTENTION that the kid isn't haphazardly banging into other people. This means WATCH YOUR D@MN KIDS. Not ignoring your children is particularly important on the one night of the year that you're actually condoning the begging of candy from virtual strangers. Try not to put your child's or mere pedestrians' lives at risk as well.
3. Not EVERYone thinks your costumed child (dog or cat) is the cutest thing in the entire world and, surprisingly, has no interest in standing around while you block everyone's path to take countless pictures.
4. Don't gawk at men dressed as women or women dressed as men. Sometimes, this holiday is the only day of the year that some buttoned up and otherwise shy individuals allow themselves to let their freak-flags fly.
5. Feel free to gawk at tourists who wear no costumes and just stand around gawking at others who do.
6. Please, please, PLEASE don't be the spoil sport who gives toothbrushes and toothpaste to trick-or-treaters. This is a day for hedonism and you don't want to be THAT guy who poops on the party.
7. And PLEASE don't be that kid (or their parent) who rings the doorbell and proclaims, "Trick-or-treat! I have/my Mikey has a peanut allergy!" If your kid has an allergy, don't make it the generous candy-giver's problem. Go through the little tyke's candy when you get home!
8. Above all, be thoughtful, careful, safe and have fun....without pissing anyone else off on your way because no one ever taught you how to behave in public!

Now, of course, I know that my gentle readers and thoughtful followers would NEVER do any of these terrible things. But I also know that we ALL know SOMEONE who would, and does and we can pass this along to them!

Happy Hallowe'en.......Oh, and BOO!

- SSG

Happy Birthday To Me - A Christmas Miracle?

My Dear Friends, Followers and Readers,

Yes, it is my birthday. But I didn't mention it to force fond wishes, cards, large floral tributes or more cake than anyone in his or her right mind would be wise to consume.

No. I mentioned it because of the date. October 17. That's right. October.

Why is that particular month and date being so hard hit by my blog today? Funny you should ask!

No, it's not because I have been so busy and life has been so crazy-making that I haven't put an update on my blog since the last week in September and I'm apologizing to the small (but faithful) group that reads my entries - though I really ought to do just that!

No, it's because it's October. OCTOBER. We are still two weeks premature for Hallowe'en.
I ventured out to shop for a little gift today for a loved one and, what did I see? Hallowe'en decorations? Yes, but those have been up virtually since the fourth of July.

What I saw that kinda spooked me more than the goblins and spooks were CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS! You betcha! Christmas. We haven't even been able to go up to strangers' doors and yell "Trick or Treat!" at the top of our lungs when we are being forced to change our tune to our favorite holiday carol.

Now, please don't get me wrong. I love the holiday season as much as the next guy - probably more because I'm in a mixed marriage and I get to celebrate them ALL.
But, didn't we just get done with Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur?!! Those are traditional autumnal celebrations followed by Sukkot - the festival of the HARVEST.

No wise men, no tinsel, no mistletoe.....at least not yet, please. Let us enjoy the fall. The leaves turning. Maybe a little turkey and dressing...A pumpkin pie, or in my case, a modest birthday cake, before the rush of the holidays commences. I promise to celebrate with fervor and optimum excitement!

Not exactly a question of Urban Etiquette, but thanks for letting me vent! After all, I'm old now and it comes so naturally.

- SSG

A Word To The Wise

No matter how far technology has come...

You STILL look, to the rest of the world, as if you're talking loudly to yourself while walking down the street using your tiny little hands-free cellphone device.

Idiot alert!

Just a little something you might want to keep in mind.

AWWWWWW, What a Cute Puppy!!!

Dear Readers, Followers and the Just Plain Curious,

Well, it finally happened a couple months ago.
I'm no sure whether I shared this with you all or not, but three years ago I had  bilateral hip replacement surgery - that's right - bilateral (meaning both at the same time...YIKES) and two years ago another sort of more drastic surgery having to do with the titanium prostheses both getting life-threateningly infected. This second event had me in hospital and rehabilitation for a total of six weeks and the recovery time, well, let's just say it was massive.

YES, I'm getting to the puppy, trust me!

Well, my husband, the ever thoughtful Jae, said to me during my mending period, "You know how you've always wanted a dog? Well, I was thinking, as soon as you're able to bend over to pick up poop off the street, we can start looking for a rescue!"

Our Little Hudson

He even took me to the Javits Convention Center for my birthday in October to an even called Meet The Breeds where there were a lot of different booths with a LOT of different breeds for all of us to meet and get to know. I was in Doggie Heaven!

Well, it took quite a while to find the wonderful puppy we adopted and have come to love. His name is Hudson and he completes this family of five. Daddy (me), Poppa (Jae), Jack and Sam (our seven year old cats).

Now, you might be wondering, where's the rant? Where's the righteous indignation? Okay, here it is:

I ask you, would you...

• Pick up a stranger's toddler on the street? 

• Make 'kissy' noises so that the child in question will come to you and away from their parent or guardian? 
• Poke repeatedly at a child's face while exclaiming "What a cute baby!"? 

• Give a parent unsolicited advice about how to raise their progeny?

This happens to us ALL the time! You wouldn't think people would be so thoughtless but, guess what! They are!

Now, onward to other annoyances that have pertinent crossover to manners, safety and public health issues:

• I'm a little bit surprised that parents will allow their small children to just go up to strange dogs and pet them - or hit them or pull on their ears or scream at them, etc! I know my dog is friendly and well socialized but not every dog is. This is REALLY dangerous!

• Those expandable leashes are one of the stupidest things ever invented. Most dog owners don't know how to use them correctly and their dogs tend to run amok and tangle up old ladies and other pedestrians. Get a regular lead! You're not cool. 

• Most dogs have their nose to the ground for a goodly amount of the time they are being walked in city neighborhoods. Think again when you decide to just throw litter, cigarette butts, food, etc in the GENERAL direction of a trash receptacle or merely ANYwhere you are. These things can really hurt the constitution of a dog. Think twice.

•  DO NOT FEED dogs or puppies you don't know. An easy and logical premise. Just DON'T.

How intelligent do you have to be to consider the health and welfare and welfare of a pet - even (and probably most importantly) when it's not your own pet??

Please, dear readers, pass on this information to anyone you think of who can benefit from these reminders.

-SSG