Oh, TAXI!!!!

Dear Friends, Readers and Followers,


A very quick post today, considering the extraordinary heat both outdoors here in NYC and more locally under my collar.

  

Picture this....my husband and I are standing near the corner of 10th Avenue and 42nd Street in 102 degree heat, he has his hand in the air hailing a cab, I have my arms wrapped around our precious little bundle of puppy fuzz as we are on our way to the veterinarian to get him his last booster shop for a year.

A young woman crosses 42nd Street toward us, looks directly at us taking in what the situation is, stands BETWEEN us and the corner and starts hailing a cab going in the same direction!

She, of course, gets the first cab, looks at us again as she passes us in it and goes back to her texting or her MP3 player or whateverthehell she was doing and travels along on her merry way.

This honks me off on so many levels!

1. The rudeness involved in taking another person's cab in this city has been documented ad nauseum in every genre of entertainment from plays to sit coms to movies. GET A CLUE!
2. Respecting other pedestrians - let alone one's elders - should be common practice. EVEN amongst the most common!
3. Just don't do this. Just DON'T. It only brings about bad karma and makes the people around you who don't believe in karma (or don't know what it is) just think you're a douche.

That's all for today friends. I merely wanted to get that off my chest before this heat makes me uncharacteristically murderous in intent and action.

Meanwhile....until next time!

-SSG

Can I Get vs. May I have - Now THERE's a Shocker!

"Can I get a glass of water over here?"
"Can I have the roast beef on wheat with lettuce and tomato on the side?"
"Can I ask you a question?"

Can this insidious habit get more annoying? YES. I'm afraid it can. And does. And will.

Just for the record, the correct wording of those first three sentences is missing two things.
Firstly, the phrase "May I..."
And secondly, they should always end with that ever-dwindling magic word. No, not "NOW".... "PLEASE".

But, surprisingly enough, this blog isn't truly about the decimation of the English language.
It's about the difference between being "in service" and being "servile".
And it is, of course, about the sad comment on manners and polite deportment that seems to pervade lately and seemingly force people to be rude to the point of cruelty to their servers in restaurants.

I remember some of my best times in the realm of gainful employment were in restaurants working as a server, a singing waiter and eventually a staff training manager. The work was not too difficult (though it did have its exceptions) and with tips it seemed that there was almost instant gratification for a job well done. But, of course, all was not always sunshine and lollipops in that world. Some of the bad times were inherent in the business and some were as a result of customers' thoughtless actions.
And, this being my place at the helm of this blog, I will share some of them with you.

I started "in service" at a very young age, in the most potentially awkward and embarrassing way possible.  My family lived in a very wealthy suburb of Chicago and decidedly NOT because we were well to do. No, my parents made the decision to raise their family in the very best neighborhood that they could...ahem...afford so that we kids would have good schools, clean quiet streets and nice friends.
Now, that's a really great idea in theory but it doesn't always make for the easiest of childhoods when all of your friends are going horseback riding or skiing or traveling hither and yon and, though they invite you along, you are not able to do the things your friends do....like hanging out at the local country club...where YOU are employed as a caddy and a busboy for banquet events.
I was thirteen when I was carrying golf bags for my friends' fathers and mothers and filling water glasses and clearing plates for the families from whom I was living down the street.

Please don't get me wrong! I was grateful for the work and the opportunity to make some money to help out at home and to have a few of the things that teenagers all want and that their parents consider luxuries and these jobs cemented my work ethic for later in life. But they also showed me a lot about what it's like to be considered servile - below the station of those people whose needs you're fulfilling at any given time.
I have always maintained that there is a BIG difference between being "in service" and being "servile" and a lot of it has to do with how you serve; meaning, of course, that that big difference comes from within ourselves as servers and NOT from the customer/guest/employer.
I worked hard at trying not to feel "less than" during those summers and got pretty good at it once I got more friendly with the club members who actually began to take an interest in the hard working caddy/busboy/waiter/valet that they saw every year and began to request more and more.
I became a person to them and not just HOW the bag got carried and how the water glass get filled.
They asked me about my schoolwork, what colleges I was applying to, what shows I was working on.
Being personable and open to talk to these people - when asked, of course - was what got me in the top ten of all two hundred some caddies on the links and chosen to work for the members that were the front runners in the club tournaments.

The basic message here to service people is, if you carry yourself like a real person you'll be more likely to be treated as such.
The basic message here to people who are in the position of being served is BE NICE. Treat the service people like...well...people and WHAT?! LOOK AT THAT! You'll be treated accordingly.
I can't tell you how often an end cut of the prime rib shows up on my plate just because I made a waiter laugh or  I was remembered and called when something I wanted in a store came available, only due to treating the salesperson with respect.

Just put yourself in their shoes. Call it the Golden Rule, call it common sense or (un)common courtesy, call it what you will, but it's been true for centuries...You catch more bees with honey than with vinegar.

So, give it a try. Add a please and a thank you for starters and see how your world changes. Then you can take a step further and stop being so demanding, gruff and insensitive. I think you'll be amazed at the outcome.

Let me know how it works out for you!

-SSG

The Two-Sided Coin Of Retail

Ladies & Gentlemen,
In this economic climate it is important for us all to try to be frugal.
When I consult my good friends at Webster the definition of "frugal" comes up as:

fru.gal  adj :characterized by, or reflecting economy in the use of resources

Nowhere in that brief description are the words cheap, rude, obtuse, obnoxious, insulting or impatient to the people who are serving you behind a counter in the retail establishment of your choice.

Everyone nowadays is trying to save a buck.  It's a given. But those folks who are lucky enough to have employment in these tough times - especially in retail - have GOT to remember that the people who come out to the stores PAY YOUR SALARY and, even if you are not working on commission, there is no excuse to be rude, obtuse, obnoxious, insulting, impatient or, least of all, avoiding your customers.

And there you have it, friends....that two-sided coin I mentioned.

Being in any service industry is always a double edged sword but now it has become a sharper, more dangerous sword to say the very least.

It really boils down to that pesky Golden Rule and for those of you, dear readers, that need a refresher:

Do Unto Others As You Would Have Others Do Unto You

A pithy but crucial statement that never gets old in my book, though so many people forget its meaning or to abide by it. It's not in the most up to date language so let me rephrase in a few ways that might have more current meaning for you:

• Don't piss off your waiter. They are the last person to touch your food before you eat it.

• The person behind the counter is not your personal slave. Appreciate them for what they do for you and remember that this isn't a "big box store" and the service that they supply is not our right. It's a perk that the store provides for you.

• Alternately, every customer who asks for your help as a service-based employee is not the biggest idiot left on earth and not (necessarily) there to annoy you, take up time that you think would be better used by texting or chatting with a colleague and ignoring them completely. There are relationships to be made with customers who might come back again, ask for you personally, and make your job easier and more fulfilling.

• LOOK for whatever you're shopping for before you go up to someone to ask them to do something you are perfectly capable of doing yourself.

• PLEASE don't accost me at the door with a bright and cheery - and most often insincere - greeting asking if you can help me. It feels like an attack and puts the customer on their guard rather than making them feel welcome and in the mood to spend time and money.

• PLEASE keep an eye out for me when I DO need help rather than avoiding my gaze so that you don't have to get involved. This is especially annoying with waitpeople. If there's something needed at a table, wouldn't you think that it would behoove you to take care of it rather than breezing past the table without casting even the briefest glance?

• Be as polite with your salesperson/waitperson/concierge/postal employee/cashier/babysitter/doorman/dry cleaner/pharmacist/receptionist/etcetera as you would be if that person was your mother/sister/brother/son/daughter because, one day, they might just BE one of those people.

• Be as polite to your customer as you might be to a loved one and see how much better your life at work becomes.

• Save your complaining for the person that can actually help you with that particular problem. Ask to speak to a manager - in the nicest way possible - only if it's necessary. NOT just because you think it's going to make someone "hop to it" and treat you better. A manager has a job to do. That job is to facilitate the smooth running of the establishment and to oversee the people who are actually serving the customers needs. "May I speak to your manager?" is a last resort, not a club with which to beat someone who you think is beneath serving you.

• Save your complaining for your manager. NEVER argue with a patron no matter how much you think them to be foolish and in need of an education. Your job is to do what is necessary to satisfy the customer. Your satisfaction comes in second to theirs. Granted, the customer is not REALLY always right but their needs DO take priority.

• There are a great many people out there in the world who would LOVE to have your business. If the ones to whom you give that business are treated with respect and appreciation that should guarantee you the kind of service and attention that you will deserve by treating them well.

• There are a great many people out there in the world who would LOVE to have your job. If you take the extra time and effort to treat your customers with respect and appreciation that should guarantee you the return patronage to keep you in that position and grow the following that you deserve from doing your job well.

It's continually boggling to me that people, not just in retail, but in seemingly every area of professional life take so little pride in doing their job well these days. Yes, I know it makes me sound like the oldest man in the world, sitting toothless and angry on his front porch, complaining to anyone who will listen about, "Kids today...". But think about it for a minute.
THERE's an incentive for getting on the stick and getting your job done efficiently and well, right?
So, here's the deal, folks...you all try a little harder to be nice to your customers and you customers try a little harder to the person behind the counter and, together, we can all shut ME the hell up!
I know. Shocking, huh? And not just because I ended my sentence with a preposition either.
We all do our jobs and appreciate others for the jobs they're doing and the world gets to become a better place...Whaddaya say?

As always, dear readers, I welcome your opinions, comments and suggestions as I remain your humble - OKAY, not THAT humble, servant,

-SSG