Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Auld Lang Syne....For Idiots

Dearest Readers and Followers,
I sincerely hope that you have been enjoying your holiday season so far and that it has been peaceful with no adverse incident.
Mine, my dear ones, has been wonderful - mainly because I made a pact with myself to try and avoid retail shopping and the insanely, pressure-filled and idiotic times it tends to bring.
Stress management has been my call to arms this season and I think it's worked.

It seems that when I treat my humble abode like an engraved invitation to agoraphobia, not only do I manage to get more done, but I also seem to keep my blood pressure in check, keep my head on straight and - SOMEHOW - keep from murdering stupid people!

BUT, my friends, I believe that that could be about to change.


Yes, it's coming up on New Year's Eve. It's the one evening of the year that the amateur partiers come into my neighborhood to make asses and bloody nuisances of themselves.
Oh, yes, you might say that the same happens on Saint Patrick's Day, but it's not just the Irish and wannabe Irish on New Year's. Oh, no! It's everyone who shares the common calendar with the rest of the world.

I have never quite understood the draw of standing in the cold (and often rainy) night with hundreds of thousands of strangers in a roiling mass of bodies waiting to see a crystal ball be lowered on a stick above your damp and freezing head. But I have lived and worked in the Times Square neighborhood for a decade and a half now and I can tell you that this mass hysteria is NOT a good thing.

People, STAY HOME! Watch the ball drop on television. Drink (if you must and in moderation) in the relative comfort and safely of your own homes and DO NOT GET BEHIND THE WHEEL OF A CAR!

I may not LIKE stupid and thoughtless people but I would never wish them the kind of dreadful experience of crashing a vehicle - or into someone else's just because they didn't have the brains G-d gave a turnip.

Please, be safe this Saturday night and live to annoy people another day!

Happy New Year!

-SSG

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Happy Thanksgiving - No, Really

Dearest Readers, Followers and Friends,

I would be remiss, as a proponent of good etiquette and polite behavior, if I didn't wish all of you a wonderful holiday.
May you all show your thanks this year by treating each other with kindness, respect and the love you would like to receive.
- SSG

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Attention Shoppers

Dearest Readers, Neighbors, Followers and Friends,

I'd like to spend a few moments on a little thing that is going to turn into a BIG thing very soon.

SHOPPING.
  Christmas Illustrations - Image 5


Yes, the holidays and personal gift giving are right around the corner. In fact, some of you consider Thanksgiving as merely the carbo-loading necessary to make it through the marathon that is shopping in the city.

There is, in my opinion, something else that we all should load up on before we venture out into the sea of the unwashed, the rude, the bargain hunters and the tourists (which is a group that can combine all of the above after all).

That thing is manners. It's important to mention that manners and politeness in this difficult time are pivotal products o one other thing that we tend to have a lack of.....PATIENCE.

If a an entire family of tourists doesn't know any better and stops dead in its tracks to look up in the air at "OOH! Something Shiny!" and, thus, blocks your thoughtfully considered and timely progress try to be patient and ask them - without irony in your voice - if you may pass.

When you are in a crowd, an "excuse me" or an after-the-fact "pardon me" can mean a lot more than a "Happy Holidays" to the average person but, to nip the problem in the bud, JUST WAIT YOUR TURN!

The moment or two that you save by jumping a space in line or pushing your way to the front are really not worth the temporary hatred that your actions are going to instill in those around you.
Also, remember a wonderful adage of the modern era - You can shop online now, save money, have things wrapped and delivered to their recipient and not be forced to piss yourself off or those around you in the process. So, log on to your trusty computer and shop at home if at all possible!

ag·o·ra·pho·bia noun \ˌa-g(ə-)rə-ˈfō-bē-ə\ : abnormal fear of being helpless in an embarrassing or unescapable situation that is characterized especially by the avoidance of open or public places


Now I'm not suggesting that agoraphobia is a disorder to be cherished. No, NO! Just appreciate it for what a temporary case can do for you and those around you if contracted by choice!

Have yourselves a merry little (      insert celebration here       ) and be thoughtful, kind and safe.

- SSG

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

AH, That Time Has Come 'Round Again!

Dearest Readers & Followers - and those who have haphazardly lost their way on the daunting web,

That time surely has come 'round again.
That time of glistening brows, expectant faces, sticky fingers and mists twinkling in the air.
Am I talking about the holidays with all those sugarplums so near at hand?

NO!

I'm talking Cold and Flu Season!
Click to view
Those glistening brows have been brought on by fever, expectant faces by never knowing from where the next hacking cough will issue forth, sticky fingers digging for lozenges (elbows akimbo in even the smallest and tightest of places) and the twinkling in the air? The unconfined spray from uncovered sneezes and coughs in those aforementioned contained spaces.

It's not rocket science folks - COVER YOUR DAMN MOUTHS WHEN YOU COUGH AND SNEEZE!

WHAT?!? You mean ME? OOOOOOH! I thought the rule was "cover my infected pie-hole only when and if I think about it!"

I recently witnessed a man on the subway of this fair city playing some sort of game on his smart phone.
Side bar: Apparently, you can buy a smart phone now even if you're decidedly...well... NOT.

But, I digress....

I saw this man using his phone on the train, playing some video game or another, which apparently required both of his hands and the lion's share of his tiny intellect. When he felt the overwhelming urge to sneeze, he did so....all over the person standing in front of him, spraying her with whatever cooties he was playing host to at that moment. And not just once, mind you....but THREE TIMES!!!

I know what you're going to ask.....Did he cover his mouth? Did he let go of the insipid electronic game he was playing, even with one hand?!?
No, dear ones, he did not.
And when the poor receptacle of his stupidity AND germs asked him to cover his mouth he looked back at her dumbfounded! As if he had never heard of the concept of germs and bacteria flying through the air and indiscriminately latching onto and subsequently infecting whatever or whomever is in its path.

And was this some kid? Wet behind the ears, whose parents never tried to steer him in the polite and healthier direction of keeping his maladies to himself? NO. He was, by my assessment, in his late forties or early fifties. SHAMEFUL.

Now, come ON! You don't have to be brilliant to figure out that that is wrong - not to mention disgusting and rude.

Contagion Poster

Please, dear friends and readers, let's all try, this season to teach by good example and should that not work, let's round up all the idiots and force them to watch a screening of the recent release of the critically acclaimed film, Contagion, and further enhance their experience by providing one BIG, communal tub of of germ-ridden popcorn!

Please, stay healthy!

- SSG

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Trick or.....Whatever

Dear Readers and Followers,

It's very close to Halloween, Hallowe'en, All Hallow's Eve....whatever you want to call it, let's go through a couple ground rules, shall we?

This is (primarily) a children's holiday. The costumes, the scary ghouls, goblins and ghosts and the candy...let's not forget the candy!

Free Trick Or Treat Clipart

SO, here's what I'd like to see but what I'm, sadly, convinced will NOT be the case.
  1. This IS a children's holiday but that should mean MORE parental and guardian supervision not less
  2. If you have a child in your care who is wearing a mask that limits their vision, PAY ATTENTION that the kid isn't haphazardly banging into other people. This means WATCH YOUR D@MN KIDS. Not ignoring your children is particularly important on the one night of the year that you're actually condoning the begging of candy from virtual strangers. Try not to put your child's or mere pedestrians' lives at risk as well.
  3. Not EVERYone thinks your costumed child (dog or cat) is the cutest thing in the entire world and, surprisingly, has no interest in standing around while you block everyone's path to take countless pictures.
  4. Don't gawk at men dressed as women or women dressed as men. Sometimes, this holiday is the only day of the year that some buttoned up and otherwise shy individuals allow themselves to let their freak-flags fly.
  5. Feel free to gawk at tourists who wear no costumes and just stand around gawking at others who do.
  6. Please, please, PLEASE don't be the spoil sport who gives toothbrushes and toothpaste to trick-or-treaters. This is a day for hedonism and you don't want to be THAT guy who poops on the party.
  7. And PLEASE don't be that kid (or their parent) who rings the doorbell and proclaims, "Trick-or-treat! I have/my Mikey has a peanut allergy!" If your kid has an allergy, don't make it the generous candy-giver's problem. Go through the little tyke's candy when you get home!
  8. Above all, be thoughtful, careful, safe and have fun....without pissing anyone else off on your way because no one ever taught you how to behave in public!
Now, of course, I know that my gentle readers and thoughtful followers would NEVER do any of these terrible things. But I also know that we ALL know SOMEONE who would, and does and we can pass this along to them!

Happy Hallowe'en.......Oh, and BOO!

- SSG

Monday, October 17, 2011

Happy Birthday To Me - A Christmas Miracle?

My Dear Friends, Followers and Readers,

Yes, it is my birthday. But I didn't mention it to force fond wishes, cards, large floral tributes or more cake than anyone in his or her right mind would be wise to consume.

No. I mentioned it because of the date. October 17. That's right. October.


Why is that particular month and date being so hard hit by my blog today? Funny you should ask!

No, it's not because I have been so busy and life has been so crazy-making that I haven't put an update on my blog since the last week in September and I'm apologizing to the small (but faithful) group that reads my entries - though I really ought to do just that!

No, it's because it's October. OCTOBER. We are still two weeks premature for Hallowe'en.
I ventured out to shop for a little gift today for a loved one and, what did I see? Hallowe'en decorations? Yes, but those have been up virtually since the fourth of July.

Halloween Clip Art :: Image 3

What I saw that kinda spooked me more than the goblins and spooks were CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS! You betcha! Christmas. We haven't even been able to go up to strangers' doors and yell "Trick or Treat!" at the top of our lungs when we are being forced to change our tune to our favorite holiday carol.

Now, please don't get me wrong. I love the holiday season as much as the next guy - probably more because I'm in a mixed marriage and I get to celebrate them ALL.
But, didn't we just get done with Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur?!! Those are traditional autumnal celebrations followed by Sukkot - the festival of the HARVEST.

No wise men, no tinsel, no mistletoe.....at least not yet, please. Let us enjoy the fall. The leaves turning. Maybe a little turkey and dressing...A pumpkin pie, or in my case, a modest birthday cake, before the rush of the holidays commences. I promise to celebrate with fervor and optimum excitement!

Not exactly a question of Urban Etiquette, but thanks for letting me vent! After all, I'm old now and it comes so naturally.

- SSG

Friday, September 23, 2011

A Word To The Wise

No matter how far technology has come...

You STILL look, to the rest of the world, as if you're talking loudly to yourself while walking down the street using your tiny little hands-free cellphone device.
Idiot alert!

Just a little something you might want to keep in mind.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

AWWWWWW, What a Cute Puppy!!!

Dear Readers, Followers and the Just Plain Curious,

Well, it finally happened a couple months ago.
I'm no sure whether I shared this with you all or not, but three years ago I had  bilateral hip replacement surgery - that's right - bilateral (meaning both at the same time...YIKES) and two years ago another sort of more drastic surgery having to do with the titanium prostheses both getting life-threateningly infected. This second event had me in hospital and rehabilitation for a total of six weeks and the recovery time, well, let's just say it was massive.

YES, I'm getting to the puppy, trust me!

Well, my husband, the ever thoughtful Jae, said to me during my mending period, "You know how you've always wanted a dog? Well, I was thinking, as soon as you're able to bend over to pick up poop off the street, we can start looking for a rescue!"

Our Little Hudson

He even took me to the Javits Convention Center for my birthday in October to an even called Meet The Breeds where there were a lot of different booths with a LOT of different breeds for all of us to meet and get to know. I was in Doggie Heaven!

Well, it took quite a while to find the wonderful puppy we adopted and have come to love. His name is Hudson and he completes this family of five. Daddy (me), Poppa (Jae), Jack and Sam (our seven year old cats).

Now, you might be wondering, where's the rant? Where's the righteous indignation? Okay, here it is:

I ask you, would you...
  • Pick up a stranger's toddler on the street? 
  • Make 'kissy' noises so that the child in question will come to you and away from their parent or guardian? 
  • Poke repeatedly at a child's face while exclaiming "What a cute baby!"? 
  • Give a parent unsolicited advice about how to raise their progeny?
This happens to us ALL the time! You wouldn't think people would be so thoughtless but, guess what! They are!

Now, onward to other annoyances that have pertinent crossover to manners, safety and public health issues:
  • I'm a little bit surprised that parents will allow their small children to just go up to strange dogs and pet them - or hit them or pull on their ears or scream at them, etc! I know my dog is friendly and well socialized but not every dog is. This is REALLY dangerous!
  • Those expandable leashes are one of the stupidest things ever invented. Most dog owners don't know how to use them correctly and their dogs tend to run amok and tangle up old ladies and other pedestrians. Get a regular lead! You're not cool. 
  • Most dogs have their nose to the ground for a goodly amount of the time they are being walked in city neighborhoods. Think again when you decide to just throw litter, cigarette butts, food, etc in the GENERAL direction of a trash receptacle or merely ANYwhere you are. These things can really hurt the constitution of a dog. Think twice.
  •  DO NOT FEED dogs or puppies you don't know. An easy and logical premise. Just DON'T.
How intelligent do you have to be to consider the health and welfare and welfare of a pet - even (and probably most importantly) when it's not your own pet??

Please, dear readers, pass on this information to anyone you think of who can benefit from these reminders.

-SSG

    Sunday, September 11, 2011

    Ground Zero Is Not A Theme Park

    My dear readers,

    I understand that the terrifying events of 9/11 had a huge impact on Americans and even the world, but I have a problem that I just don't understand.
    I overheard this conversation the yesterday and it upset me more than I can say:

    "What? There are roadblocks and street closings down at Ground Zero?!
    I wanted to get a t-shirt!"

    My friends, We, New Yorkers, lived through that horrible day and the resulting aftermath of fear, insecurity and stress. Yes, the whole nation was attacked, the whole world frozen, but - and I say this with as much thoughtful consciousness and humility - Ground Zero Is NOT a theme park nor is it a tourist destination for fun and frolic.

     I cannot say this without sounding like an ass and, trust me, I know how I come off. But, folks, you will never know how horrifying it is to see the hawkers and vendors trying to sell tschotchkas and hats and t-shirts where an abomination occurred forcing major changes in so many New Yorkers' lives.

    What has this to do with etiquette, you may ask?
    Manners and etiquette, as I've mentioned before, are designed, not to handcuff people or make them feel badly about themselves, but to make everyone feel comfortable and good.

    Just my opinions, of course, and I welcome any rebuttal or comment at any time.

    Meanwhile, my friends, please stay healthy and safe.

    - SSG

    Tuesday, August 30, 2011

    Good Night, Irene

    Hell Dear Readers!
    It's been a while since my last posting - wow, that sort of sounds like that old "Bless me Father...." thing.

    Free Wind Clipart

    As some of you might be aware, the East Coast had a bit of a scare over the past weekend regarding Hurricane Irene and its (her?) path heading straight toward New York and environs.
    Now, I am all for hurricane preparedness, but when it puts others at risk and makes you look like a jackass then I draw the line. For myself AND others.

    So, I am sure you will understand when I regale you with my little tale of bankrupt, classless, rude and downright awful humanity that I witnessed - and yes - got involved in this past weekend.

    There is a supermarket in the basement of our building and our neighborhood is a veritable cross section of young, old, rich, struggling polite and, well, not.
    I keep a rather well stocked pantry of essentials on a regular basis so I was not really concerned about the possible and impending doom that Irene was promising but I did have occasion to be in the grocery to pick up something I needed to make dinner and do laundry, while walking down the beverage and water aisle I saw something that made my blood boil and run cold at the same time.
    There was an eighty-something white haired lady slowly pushing her cart toward the sparsely stocked shelves of bottled water when along came an overly tanned twenty-something girl in her flip-flops, too-tight cut offs, tank top and head phones obviously talking (too loudly, I might add) and pushes past the older woman, rolling her eyes - presumably as a comment on the woman's age and slowness - and grabbing the last of the twelve packs of bottled water toward which the woman was reaching starts to walk away.

    I simply couldn't believe what I was seeing.

    Well, I decided it was not going to happen in the way this little &8#@% assumed it would and I proceeded to stand directly in her path. After looking up from her cellphone, a bit flustered  as she saw my angry face, she heard me say one word - "NO."
    I took the water from her hand and turned around and put it in the lady's cart.
    I then turned back to the girl and reiterated my one word comment, "NO." and went about my quest for all fabric bleach.

    Had I stayed around to argue the point I'm sure it would have come to fisticuffs and I would have been forced to break my life long commitment to never hit a female.

    You think the winds of Irene were strong? I would have smacked that girl into next week! 

    Friday, August 12, 2011

    God Bless You!

    OH, FOR PETE'S SAKE...COVER YOUR MOUTH WHEN YOU SNEEZE OR COUGH!!!

    Where were you brought up, a barn?!
    'Nuff said? GOOD.

    sneeze

    Monday, August 1, 2011

    Who's Next? Why, It's ME, Of Course!

    Ladies & Gentlemen,

    Today's entry is about a little problem that I may or may not have mentioned before. As I seem to have SO many peeves that demand petting it's becoming more and more difficult to remember which of them I've actually shared recently but this one had real life inspiration in the last two days so let's have at it, shall we?

    ENTITLEMENT

    I'm not exactly sure where it comes from, actually, but the people who act the most entitled to have the best, be the first, pay no attention to others around them, to interrupt others while those others are having their own say, to be rude to (supposed) underlings and to, basically, make total asses of themselves seem, to me, to be the LEAST deserving of special attention than anyone else in this world of ours.

    The day before yesterday my husband and I were at a movie theater and, as is usually the case, we got to our theater in the multiplex early. So early, in fact, that the previous showing of the film had not finished as yet and so we settled in to wait.
    We didn't have to wait long until the movie ended and the cleaning staff went into the theater to clean up between showings after telling those of us who had gathered outside by this time that, though the doors to the theater were open, no one would be admitted until they had done their job and tidied up for the next showtime and that is exactly what the dozen or so of us did. We calmly waited and when others joined our merry little band we conscientiously passed on the information that "the theater isn't open yet."
    Then, two young women walked up - and into - the theater. Yes, they had been told of the situation. But NO, they decided the rules didn't pertain to them and kept right on going.
    They, of course, were told by the cleaning staff that they would have to wait outside but, instead of waiting outside with the rest of us - who all, incidentally, had arrived before them, they decided to stay juuuuuuust inside the door so that they could be the very first to get to choose their seats for the film.
    And, of course, having no shame and being a constant friend to the downtrodden, I said (just loudly enough to be heard by them and all assembled who were waiting their turn,

    "NO, that's perfectly alright.We had all heard you two were going to be here so we took a vote and decided you should be the first ones in the doors. THAT'S why we're all standing here waiting. So YOU could skip this pesky lining up process!"

    Yes, it got a laugh from those with me outside the theater, but it also made me think seriously about this entitlement issue.


    It seems to be running rampant in our youth today and not just in urban centers but everywhere.

    It also seems to be prevalent in adults as well.

    Too many people are just glossing over the basics of good behavior and letting - even encouraging - their children to think a bit too highly of themselves and not at all about others.

    No one seems to say NO or to discipline their children anymore.

    No one seems to think little Johnny or little Susie should give a c^@p about anyone but themselves.

    Everyone in the pee wee soccer league gets a trophy just for showing up so kids grow up thinking that the world is going to hand them everything on a platter without their having to cultivate their gifts or working hard - HELL, without their having to work at all! They begin to believe that they are entitled to be treated well.

    And where does all that entitlement put the rest of us schmoes who are merely sharing THEIR planet?
    Well, it seems that if we're anywhere at all, we're standing in their way toward their golden payday for merely being themselves.

    I used to say that I weep for tomorrow. Unfortunately though, I'm beginning to believe that 'tomorrow' has arrived.

    My goodness, that was a little more dour and angry than I tend to be here in my blog! My apologies to you all and my promise that I will be back to my lighthearted self very soon and bringing you posts with a bit more humor and cheer to them.

    I happen to know that the only think I'm entitled to is my opinion.

    Meanwhile, as always, I encourage your comments, your follow-ship and urge you to think of others before yourself and see how much it improves your days and others' as well!

    -SSG

    Saturday, July 23, 2011

    Oh, TAXI!!!!

    Dear Friends, Readers and Followers,


    A very quick post today, considering the extraordinary heat both outdoors here in NYC and more locally under my collar.

      

    Picture this....my husband and I are standing near the corner of 10th Avenue and 42nd Street in 102 degree heat, he has his hand in the air hailing a cab, I have my arms wrapped around our precious little bundle of puppy fuzz as we are on our way to the veterinarian to get him his last booster shop for a year.
    A young woman crosses 42nd Street toward us, looks directly at us taking in what the situation is, stands BETWEEN us and the corner and starts hailing a cab going in the same direction!
    She, of course, gets the first cab, looks at us again as she passes us in it and goes back to her texting or her MP3 player or whateverthehell she was doing and travels along on her merry way.

    This honks me off on so many levels!
    1. The rudeness involved in taking another person's cab in this city has been documented ad nauseum in every genre of entertainment from plays to sit coms to movies. GET A CLUE!
    2. Respecting other pedestrians - let alone one's elders - should be common practice. EVEN amongst the most common!
    3. Just don't do this. Just DON'T. It only brings about bad karma and makes the people around you who don't believe in karma (or don't know what it is) just think you're a douche.
    That's all for today friends. I merely wanted to get that off my chest before this heat makes me uncharacteristically murderous in intent and action.

    Meanwhile....until next time!

    -SSG

    Monday, July 11, 2011

    Can I Get vs. May I have - Now THERE's a Shocker!

    restaurant


    "Can I get a glass of water over here?"
    "Can I have the roast beef on wheat with lettuce and tomato on the side?"
    "Can I ask you a question?"

    Can this insidious habit get more annoying? YES. I'm afraid it can. And does. And will.

    Just for the record, the correct wording of those first three sentences is missing two things.
    Firstly, the phrase "May I..."
    And secondly, they should always end with that ever-dwindling magic word. No, not "NOW".... "PLEASE".

    But, surprisingly enough, this blog isn't truly about the decimation of the English language.
    It's about the difference between being "in service" and being "servile".
    And it is, of course, about the sad comment on manners and polite deportment that seems to pervade lately and seemingly force people to be rude to the point of cruelty to their servers in restaurants.

    I remember some of my best times in the realm of gainful employment were in restaurants working as a server, a singing waiter and eventually a staff training manager. The work was not too difficult (though it did have its exceptions) and with tips it seemed that there was almost instant gratification for a job well done. But, of course, all was not always sunshine and lollipops in that world. Some of the bad times were inherent in the business and some were as a result of customers' thoughtless actions.
    And, this being my place at the helm of this blog, I will share some of them with you.

    I started "in service" at a very young age, in the most potentially awkward and embarrassing way possible.  My family lived in a very wealthy suburb of Chicago and decidedly NOT because we were well to do. No, my parents made the decision to raise their family in the very best neighborhood that they could...ahem...afford so that we kids would have good schools, clean quiet streets and nice friends.
    Now, that's a really great idea in theory but it doesn't always make for the easiest of childhoods when all of your friends are going horseback riding or skiing or traveling hither and yon and, though they invite you along, you are not able to do the things your friends do....like hanging out at the local country club...where YOU are employed as a caddy and a busboy for banquet events.
    I was thirteen when I was carrying golf bags for my friends' fathers and mothers and filling water glasses and clearing plates for the families from whom I was living down the street.

    Please don't get me wrong! I was grateful for the work and the opportunity to make some money to help out at home and to have a few of the things that teenagers all want and that their parents consider luxuries and these jobs cemented my work ethic for later in life. But they also showed me a lot about what it's like to be considered servile - below the station of those people whose needs you're fulfilling at any given time.
    I have always maintained that there is a BIG difference between being "in service" and being "servile" and a lot of it has to do with how you serve; meaning, of course, that that big difference comes from within ourselves as servers and NOT from the customer/guest/employer.
    I worked hard at trying not to feel "less than" during those summers and got pretty good at it once I got more friendly with the club members who actually began to take an interest in the hard working caddy/busboy/waiter/valet that they saw every year and began to request more and more.
    I became a person to them and not just HOW the bag got carried and how the water glass get filled.
    They asked me about my schoolwork, what colleges I was applying to, what shows I was working on.
    Being personable and open to talk to these people - when asked, of course - was what got me in the top ten of all two hundred some caddies on the links and chosen to work for the members that were the front runners in the club tournaments.

    The basic message here to service people is, if you carry yourself like a real person you'll be more likely to be treated as such.
    The basic message here to people who are in the position of being served is BE NICE. Treat the service people like...well...people and WHAT?! LOOK AT THAT! You'll be treated accordingly.
    I can't tell you how often an end cut of the prime rib shows up on my plate just because I made a waiter laugh or  I was remembered and called when something I wanted in a store came available, only due to treating the salesperson with respect.

    Just put yourself in their shoes. Call it the Golden Rule, call it common sense or (un)common courtesy, call it what you will, but it's been true for centuries...You catch more bees with honey than with vinegar.

    So, give it a try. Add a please and a thank you for starters and see how your world changes. Then you can take a step further and stop being so demanding, gruff and insensitive. I think you'll be amazed at the outcome.

    Let me know how it works out for you!

    -SSG

    Tuesday, July 5, 2011

    The Two-Sided Coin Of Retail

    Ladies & Gentlemen,
    In this economic climate it is important for us all to try to be frugal.
    When I consult my good friends at Webster the definition of "frugal" comes up as:

    fru.gal  adj :characterized by, or reflecting economy in the use of resources

    Nowhere in that brief description are the words cheap, rude, obtuse, obnoxious, insulting or impatient to the people who are serving you behind a counter in the retail establishment of your choice.

    Everyone nowadays is trying to save a buck.  It's a given. But those folks who are lucky enough to have employment in these tough times - especially in retail - have GOT to remember that the people who come out to the stores PAY YOUR SALARY and, even if you are not working on commission, there is no excuse to be rude, obtuse, obnoxious, insulting, impatient or, least of all, avoiding your customers.
    And there you have it, friends....that two-sided coin I mentioned.
    Being in any service industry is always a double edged sword but now it has become a sharper, more dangerous sword to say the very least.
    It really boils down to that pesky Golden Rule and for those of you, dear readers, that need a refresher:

    Do Unto Others As You Would Have Others Do Unto You

    A pithy but crucial statement that never gets old in my book, though so many people forget its meaning or to abide by it. It's not in the most up to date language so let me rephrase in a few ways that might have more current meaning for you:
    • Don't piss off your waiter. They are the last person to touch your food before you eat it.
    • The person behind the counter is not your personal slave. Appreciate them for what they do for you and remember that this isn't a "big box store" and the service that they supply is not our right. It's a perk that the store provides for you.
    • Alternately, every customer who asks for your help as a service-based employee is not the biggest idiot left on earth and not (necessarily) there to annoy you, take up time that you think would be better used by texting or chatting with a colleague and ignoring them completely. There are relationships to be made with customers who might come back again, ask for you personally, and make your job easier and more fulfilling.
    • LOOK for whatever you're shopping for before you go up to someone to ask them to do something you are perfectly capable of doing yourself.
    • PLEASE don't accost me at the door with a bright and cheery - and most often insincere - greeting asking if you can help me. It feels like an attack and puts the customer on their guard rather than making them feel welcome and in the mood to spend time and money.
    • PLEASE keep an eye out for me when I DO need help rather than avoiding my gaze so that you don't have to get involved. This is especially annoying with waitpeople. If there's something needed at a table, wouldn't you think that it would behoove you to take care of it rather than breezing past the table without casting even the briefest glance?
    • Be as polite with your salesperson/waitperson/concierge/postal employee/cashier/babysitter/doorman/dry cleaner/pharmacist/receptionist/etcetera as you would be if that person was your mother/sister/brother/son/daughter because, one day, they might just BE one of those people.
    • Be as polite to your customer as you might be to a loved one and see how much better your life at work becomes.
    • Save your complaining for the person that can actually help you with that particular problem. Ask to speak to a manager - in the nicest way possible - only if it's necessary. NOT just because you think it's going to make someone "hop to it" and treat you better. A manager has a job to do. That job is to facilitate the smooth running of the establishment and to oversee the people who are actually serving the customers needs. "May I speak to your manager?" is a last resort, not a club with which to beat someone who you think is beneath serving you.
    • Save your complaining for your manager. NEVER argue with a patron no matter how much you think them to be foolish and in need of an education. Your job is to do what is necessary to satisfy the customer. Your satisfaction comes in second to theirs. Granted, the customer is not REALLY always right but their needs DO take priority.
    • There are a great many people out there in the world who would LOVE to have your business. If the ones to whom you give that business are treated with respect and appreciation that should guarantee you the kind of service and attention that you will deserve by treating them well.
    • There are a great many people out there in the world who would LOVE to have your job. If you take the extra time and effort to treat your customers with respect and appreciation that should guarantee you the return patronage to keep you in that position and grow the following that you deserve from doing your job well.
    It's continually boggling to me that people, not just in retail, but in seemingly every area of professional life take so little pride in doing their job well these days. Yes, I know it makes me sound like the oldest man in the world, sitting toothless and angry on his front porch, complaining to anyone who will listen about, "Kids today...". But think about it for a minute.
    THERE's an incentive for getting on the stick and getting your job done efficiently and well, right?
    So, here's the deal, folks...you all try a little harder to be nice to your customers and you customers try a little harder to the person behind the counter and, together, we can all shut ME the hell up!
    I know. Shocking, huh? And not just because I ended my sentence with a preposition either.
    We all do our jobs and appreciate others for the jobs they're doing and the world gets to become a better place...Whaddaya say?

    As always, dear readers, I welcome your opinions, comments and suggestions as I remain your humble - OKAY, not THAT humble, servant,

    -SSG