Thinning the Herd ... Sounds Nice, Doesn't It?

Ladies & Gentlemen,

 

Today, I'd like to talk again about cellphones and the potential they have to do what plagues, siroccos, hurricanes, tidal waves and other natural disasters can do...THINNING THE HERD.

I am completely convinced that the best thing about combining technology with stupid people is the almost certain possibility that technology will go on and the stupid people who don't know how and when to use it will....well....NOT.

Cases in point:

What is the best possible outcome if some troglodyte crosses a busy intersection AGAINST THE LIGHT while texting?

You betcha! Idiot soup.

What is the best thing that could happen to a child's future with a mother so amazingly brilliant as to push a stroller with one hand and talk on a phone with the other?

That's right! The child who is most likely the spawn of the moronic mother leaves this earthly plane not being able to grow to adulthood to produce an even thinner and murkier gene pool than the generation that brought him into the world.

How about the outlandishly thoughtless individual who uses a public bus to tell the world the most private things about his or her life AT THE TOP OF THEIR LUNGS?

Perhaps relegated to the specific circle of hell that is determined to house the foolish souls that impede countless others on their quiet journeys toward inner peace - or just their own jobs and errands of the day? I say, BRAVO!

Sound a bit harsh? Well, I hastily admit that I would be happier thinking that these people were learning how insane, stupid and dangerous their actions are.....But apparently THEY'RE NOT.

What is it about these people that convinces them that situations that used to be havens for quiet, reflection and decorum should now be defiled as their own personal phone booth?!

The theater - both live and cinema. Museums. Public transport. The streets. Even libraries and churches have become scenes of flamboyantly rude and possibly dangerous behavior using cell phones (and personal music players and the like).

One major thing to say right here:

NOT ONE PERSON - NO MATTER HOW BRILLIANT OR COORDINATED - CAN MULTI-TASK WELL ENOUGH TO USE ONE OF THESE DEVICES IN PUBLIC WITHOUT IRRITATING OR ENDANGERING THEMSELVES OR SOMEONE ELSE.

NO ONE.

Here are a few things I'd like to suggest - STRONGLY:

• If you feel you must make or take a phone call while walking down the sidewalk...STEP ASIDE and let the pedestrians around you get on with their day. People who talk on their phones tend to slow their pace dramatically. Pay attention to those around you.
• DON'T text while walking. Just don't. It's stupid, careless, inconsiderate of those around you, potentially dangerous and just NOT NECESSARY. Nothing isn't important enough that you can't stop, step to the side and finish your "conversation" without pissing off others or getting run over by a passing car or truck.
• Turn off your phone AS YOU ENTER any building where your father or your grandfather would have taken off his hat. For those of you whose relatives never wore hats, here's a somewhat comprehensive list:

Churches
Synagogues
Theaters
Schools
Libraries
Courtrooms
Hospitals
Weddings
Funerals
The Opera
The Symphony
The Ballet
Movie Houses

Anywhere you can imagine being pissed off by the intrusion if it was someone else's phone and it was YOUR event that was being interrupted.

Turn it off. Not just on vibrate. Off means off...no calls, no listening to messages and, for the love of God, no texting! That light bothers people who have something else on their minds other than your pathetic little life and how in demand your attention is. Even brain surgeons, whose lives save lives can leave their phones with the house manager at the theatre to be contacted in the case of an emergency. I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume that all of you who are reading this are not brain surgeons. For those who are, I apologize, offer you a mulligan on this and, again, suggest the house manager thing.

• When you step on a bus, in a city like New York - or anywhere actually - and there are other people around you SAY GOODBYE. Promise to call back. Do NOT continue your conversation as if you were alone at home or in your office. For one thing, it's rude. For another, the people around you just don't care about you or your life and are just trying to get from one place to another and have paid their fare - just as you have - to ride in peace.
• Imagine that you were working as a cashier at a bank, or a waitperson, or a receptionist or one of a million different service oriented careers. Go ahead, imagine....I'll wait......okay, are you there in that world? Great. Now imagine - now this won't be hard at all - that someone comes up to you while you're doing your job brilliantly (because I know that if you were in one of these positions that required you to be polite, kind and cheerful to strangers you would be brilliant, right? Of course you would. Why wouldn't you be?) and this person had a cell phone seemingly surgically attached to their ear and was completely ignoring you while they talked to whomsoever was on the other end of the call. How would that make you feel? Angry? A little hurt? Full on pissed off? Okay. Imagine that person on the phone and ignoring the waiter or the cashier or the receptionist was YOU. What? You say that that person IS you?! Well, STOP THAT!
• Elevators. Yes, they LOOK sort of like phone booths but, surprisingly, THEY'RE NOT. Before stepping onto a crowded elevator tell the person you're talking to that you'd appreciate it if they could hold till you get to your floor or offer to call them back when you reach your destination. It makes most people uncomfortable to listen in on a conversation that is meant to be private. 

I know I could go on for days and days and days and days and days and days...oops, sorry!

But, here's the thing...there are a lot of ways that technology has helped and continues to help our society, but there has to be some way of tempering the use of it to fit in with acceptable social mores. In other words, PAY ATTENTION to how your use of these gifts effects the people around you. It's more important than you may think. People are getting more and more crowded into less and less space and we all have seen what happens when the "herd" stampedes. Be a force for intelligence and good manners in the world and I can guarantee it will become a better place. Well, for you and me, anyway. And, dear readers, aren't we just that little bit more important than the rest of the herd?

As always, dear readers, I encourage your feedback and comments about these subjects and my opinions about them. Please, tell your like-minded friends about my little forum and have them join in as readers, followers and friends of the more genteel of the urban idea makers.

- SSG