Here in America, "Excuse me" means "Get the F@&K out of my way!"

Ladies & Gentlemen,

I'd like to talk today about one of the difficulties of living in New York City. Although I can imagine that any city could have these same challenges, I have to base my thoughts and concerns upon my adopted hometown.
New York is a great city - some say the greatest - and when you live in a great city you have to deal with people coming to visit. These visitors are called Tourists. Much in the same way that the "visitors" in biblical times were called Locusts or Flies or Frogs.
Now, don't get me wrong. I have never been a xenophobe and I've always enjoyed being a host. I enjoy other cultures and other peoples' charming traits. I know that tourism is a big money maker for this city and I, myself, enjoy touring other folks' hometowns. Not only that, but I understand that ALL tourists are not guilty of the terrible and rude things that I will lay out in the paragraphs to come and that the few are giving the many a sullied reputation.

HOWEVER...When I go to someone's home I will do my best to be on my best behavior, learn as much about my surroundings and their customs so as not to A) make a spectacle of myself, B) make my hosts go out of their way to accommodate me, or C) make myself into a royal pain in the @ss.

For some strange reason I seem to notice, more and more, The Ugly American as well as The Uglier European being selfish, thoughtless and rude when they visit New York City - our home.

Jae and I used to live smack dab in the middle of the Broadway district here. Our building was between 7th and 8th Avenues on 45th Street. No, you won't be able to stalk us using that information - the building has since been torn down to be replaced by a beautiful....um...empty lot.
But, before we moved, the building had a set of stairs - a stoop, if you will - leading up to the front door.
I cannot tell you how many times I would be coming home from work or errands, loaded down with bags or boxes and get to my stoop and see half a dozen or more people sitting on my stairs and blocking my way to my front door and oftentimes strewing their cups, bags and other litter there as well!
And if that's not bad enough, being the polite fellow that I am, I would say, "Excuse me." hoping they would get the hint. But NOOOOOOOOOO. When I would say, "Excuse me." these people would try to NOT make eye-contact - AS IF I WERE A PANHANDLER asking for change!!!
Now, I'm not one to usually go from zero to @ssh*le in three seconds flat but this is totally beyond the pale and where the title of today's blog installment was born.

I don't know. Would you show up to someones home - say in one of New York's outlying boroughs or suburbs or any of the lovely European, Japanese or South American towns - and just spread out on their front porch or lawn?! I think not. That's why I continue to address you, my readers, as "Ladies & Gentlemen"!

- SSG

Please tell me of your experiences and give me suggestions for future installments. This is your forum too, you know!